So we had a big drama on Friday which ended up with BM, SO, and me going to the police station together about SS. Then Sunday BM got a summons to a hearing due to SS getting picked up on Labor Day.

Well last night SO went out to drop off the summons paperwork back to BM (she loaned it to him so we could scan it into the computer and make a copy), and to have a talk with SS.

It was around 8:00 Sunday night, I was chilling in my pajamas watching TV and surfing the net, waiting for SO to get back.

Around 9:15, he pulls up - with SS in the car. :jawdrop:

We haven't seen or communicated with SS at all in three months, since he ran out of here again, except for the one time he came to get money and a few short phone calls between SS and SO when BM called SO with a problem with SS. That's it.

It was quite a shock that he just showed up. And although he and I were always very close before everything went to hell last spring, I was really not at all happy to see him. I'm just being honest. I'm exhausted with the drama. I've just had enough.

Apparently SS wanted to apologize to me for the way he's been acting and for running out of the house and to BM. He was crying and all.

I feel bad for saying so, but that doesn't have much effect on me at this point. I told him that I appreciate him saying that, and I can see he feels strongly about it - but that many people have told me many things in my life, and a lot of them turn out not to follow through. So what I base my feelings and my decisions on is what people *do*, not what people *say*. And that up to this point, although I hear him saying he's sorry, what I see is that he's still acting the very same way.

Just Saturday night, after the cop drama on Friday, when BM told him he had to be in by 7 and couldn't go out that night, he said to her, "what, you're going to get like my dad now?"

That's not a kid whose attitude has changed.

SO talked quite a bit to SS. I felt like SO was saying everything he had already say a million times before. SS's attitude didn't seem very much changed. Maybe 15% changed - like, "ok, I've screwed up so maybe I should listen to your advice - but I still know better than everybody else so I'll be less obnoxious but at the end of the day I'll still do exactly what I want!"

SO allowed SS to stay overnight. I told SO later when we were alone that I wasn't really comfortable with that. We didn't fight about it though - he understood my feelings and I understood his decisions. They just didn't match up this time.

I got up and went to work. SO and SS got up and had cereal and continued their talk. SS went home maybe around 10:30.

SO says that we're not changing anything, and like he said, SO needs to see SS make changes and follow through before he'd be allowed to come back to our house.

So, we have to go to this hearing on the 15th. We're scheduled to install the monitoring software on SS's laptop tomorrow while he's at school (I have a half day). (SO hasn't backed down at all from going ahead with that, so I've really got no reason to think he's going soft. It must be tough for SO right now.) And we'll get a progress report from the school this week.

I guess the next month will be pretty critical as far as which direction SS will go.

L