SO and SS16 have not been seeing each other since SS left for the second time in 3 months to go with his mother, last summer. About a month ago SS came over one Sunday night, stayed over, and SO took him home the next day (SO lost his job, and SS was off school).

Last weekend, SO picked up SS around 3:30 Saturday, brought him over, and he stayed until Sunday around 5:00.

Tonight (Friday), SS called SO. I heard SO just say "I'll call you tomorrow."

Lately BM has been losing it because she can't handle SS, and has been constantly asking SO to take him back. SO won't take him back for a second time without seeing major changes in SS. BM has been saying not only that she can't handle SS, but also that she "needs her time."

I don't have any issue with SS spending time here if he's going to behave the right way. But I do have an issue with having him every single weekend. I work all week. I need my time just as much as BM does. It's not ok with me for her to get her weekends off and me to work all week and then have SS every weekend.

I had that situation once before in a prior relationship, and it stinks. You're not custodial, it's still visitation with all the accompanying issues. And you never have time for your relationship since they're there every day you're not at work.

I told SO that I'd be fine with every other weekend, but I'm not really cool with every weekend. I said it would be ok with me if SS was here during the day one day every weekend, but not overnight every Saturday.

We were custodial for 6 years and BM *never* took him overnight, not once. She was supposed to have one day each weekend and rarely took that.

SO says that he plans to tell SS that SS needs to understand that we're doing the IVF and need the household calm and stable, so he can't be here all the time or cause drama here. I don't really want SO to put me in the middle, but what he's saying is true.

SO did seem to pay close attention when I said I don't think it would be fair that BM and I both work all week but she would get every weekend free and I wouldn't.

I'm virtually certain SO and I are on the same page. I don't think he plans to have SS over every weekend. And so far he hasn't caved on his convictions.

We still have to see what happens at the hearing on Monday.

I'm trying to stay stress free since I had two embryos transferred back yesterday. I'm really happy, since no matter how long I get to keep them, whether it's that they get to be born or they don't even implant, these are my bios and I'm enjoying whatever time I get with them.

That's my update.

L