Just an update. I think I posted that SO lost his job about a month ago. SS16 has been with BM. SO still has full physical custody and BM will never get that because she can't provide for SS adequately - she's not even allowed overnights per the custody agreement due to her living circumstances. But BM and SS insisted repeatedly this is what they want, so SO allowed SS to go with BM (and in fact does not want SS back due to SS's current delinquent attitude).

Anyway, BM never paid any CS at all for the 6 years we were full time custodial. She was employed on and off but never contributed and hardly even saw SS. When SS went with BM, SO started to give BM roughly the amount she'd be awarded if they did in fact go to court. He told BM to leave him the hell alone and he'd give her the money without an order. He gave her money every week. But BM kept calling SO and harassing him about one thing and another in between. So eventually SO told BM that he didn't want to deal with her, and that if SS16 wanted money then SS16 should call SO himself. SO didn't hear anything for 2 weeks, then SS16 called and said he needed money to get things for back to school. SO told SS16 to meet us at a restaurant downtown. SO told SS what's what, then gave SS two weeks of the money, telling SS he was giving him a break for SS not calling the week before, but that going forward if he wanted the money weekly he needed to come and get it weekly, and there were going to be no extras at his whim for things like back to school.

SO didn't hear from SS for another two weeks - and by then he had lost his job. SO told SS at that time that he had lost his job, but to call him back the next day and they would discuss what to do.

SS never called SO back.

Fast forward a month - this week BM calls SO and tells him she needs money because she lost her job. SO still does not have a job.

SO told BM that she needs to handle her own business and she should have thought of this before taking SS - who would be fine if he was still with us, since I can support my family. (I told SO to tell SS to call me if he has the balls - but SO won't do that, and SS would never have the stones.)

BM has threatened to take SO to court, but there are two issues with that - first, SS will end up in foster care, because BM provides a completely unsuitable environment, and SS and SO agree that SS shouldn't be with us. And second, she can't get money he doesn't have.

BM does have a boyfriend living with them as far as I know (all in one room). This is a different boyfriend than the one she had last spring, when she threw SS out for threatening to kill her (then) boyfriend). Maybe he's paying their way right now.

I don't know what will happen next.

BM is talking about leaving the country again. SS says he doesn't want to go, he's going to finish school, etc. But he just failed his first technical exam. Perhaps BM and/or SO will be employed soon (and in the case of SO, SS will have enough sense to come ask for his damn money). Maybe BM will try taking SO to court. Maybe BM and/or SS will leave the country. Maybe eventually we all will!

Stay tuned for the next installment of "Hellbent on Self Destruction..."

L