3 years ago the courts turned my step son over to my husband (his father) and myself, at first I was a little upset simply because I was about done raising kids, then I had to step back and remind myself that I didn't just marry my husband but when I married him that meant I accepted his children as well. So I embraced this whole new adventure I was about to be on. When he moved in and soon realized he had a pretty prominent case of ADHD going on, poor personal hygiene habits and a few other troublesome habits. He was 10 at the time we got him.
My husband works nights so he is usually asleep for the majority of the time that main family events are going on such as homework, showers, dinner, etc...
So I felt I was on my own and at first was pretty angry that my husband wouldn't even get out of bed to help me help his son with his homework, Homework that should only take 20 minutes to complete but because he had untreated ADHD it would take us 3 to 4 hours and I must admit I was very upset by the end of each evening of fighting with him to get his homework done, Then upset because he refused to wash while in the shower...long story short I thought oh my gosh, this is going to be a uphill battle for me and I need to get some good habits instilled into this child. While living with his mother his grades were D's and F's and his mom showing no concern about this.
Finally I decided to take control and get it together for this young man (step son) and I got him in to the pediatrician to get all his vaccinations up to date, have a well check done and have the pediatrician kinda visit with Jacob for a while to give me his opinion about ADHD and sure enough he thought he might, So he set up an appointment with a child psychiatrist and after a very long visit with him, Jacob was diagnosed with moderate to severe ADHD and he was put on medication which by the way made a huge difference after one day!! I was in tears when he got home from school and gave me a huge hug and thanked me for taking him to the doctor to get help because he didn't stutter all day and he didn't get in trouble at all and didn't even get a detention and seeing how happy he was made everything worth it. I caught hell from his biological mother for having him on a mood altering drug and I just simply said apparently what she was doing wasn't working so I took steps that were in the best interest of Jacob and didn't really care what she thought, she hung up on, which was fine with me because I don't enjoy listening to her.
Long story short ~ Jacob has realized how much better he has it at our house than he does at his moms house, which is sad!! He does not like going to her house at all and when it's not her weekend he will ask his mom if it's alright if he just stays home instead of coming over just to spend on night and wait until it's her weekend to come over and she starts yelling at him and he finally just started putting her on speaker phone because it is so obnoxious. She threatens him with sending the police over to pick him up, guilts him and makes him feel like crap for not wanting to go over for one night. It makes me so angry I just want to crawl through that phone and strangle her for doing him that way!
Like I said when he lived with his mom his grades were D's and F's and now I'm so proud to say that he is a honor student!!!!!!!
When she does have him she doesn't give him his ADHD medication which he knows he needs and wants to take it but claims she isn't sure where she put it, needless to say Dr. V was very angry with this and threatend to call CPS on her.
There's so much more I want to say but I guess I'll just start with this, I love Jacob so much as if he were my own child and I get so hurt with how she treats him and how she puts the guilt trips on him and I just want to know if anyone else has dealt with this and how you may have handled it and just maybe guide me because as a step parent I'm learning we don't have that much pull in the court systems. HELP :?