In case I dont get a chance to pop in here later on, I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas and as a peaceful SKID free day as you can possibly get.  I truly feel for all who are forced to deal with their SKIDS or have t hem or other In Laws as houseguests, etc. 

While this year, those pressures are more or less off for me ( so far!..still time for the possibility of SD30 to present that in some way), but that doesnt mean I havent done my time in the trenches, so I get it. 

Honestly, I am surprised she hasnt yet tried to toss a little wrench in DH's and I's plans like last year. The weird thing is that  as far as I was aware, SD  didnt express the slightest bit of interest in my holidays plans, UNTIL she knew that my MIL was invited to be included to join DH and I with  my parents, since they have always gotten along great with His parents..its like they are kindred spirits. With SD..not so much. At all. For good reason too. So so much unlike myself. 

Once she got that information, suddenly SD had these last minute change in her plans to roll in at MIL's and DH's aunts place on Christmas morning, when she knew that MIL had ( even tentatively) agreed to participate in my parents gathering. So you can guess that my MIL had to choose to spend it with SD30 and the grands. It sounded like chaos over there when MIL called at least to give her greetings to my Mom and to us. Hey, thats her choice. Id rather watch paint dry personally. 

Its not like I wasnt totally expecting anything else, but back then, it still really bothered me more than I should have allowed. Its more of the principal. This same dance of SD30 suddenly trying to insert and involve herself occurs any other time of year  ( Not limited to Christmas) whenever MIL and I or anyone else has the audacity to do anything that doesnt include HER too. The timing is uncanny and has happened years ago..nothing new on that front. 

I dont know what is up with that now. I am sure she has a problem now with me and MIL interacting without her ..now that I told SD that I am uncomfortable with pursuing the same enmeshed conncection with her that SD is being kind of obsessive over.  So I guess if I dont want to bond with SD, then I have no right trying to forge a relationship with MIL . Like if SD "Cant HAVe her stepmom" as she says, then  no one else should. 

Although, I nearly fell out of my seat, when my Mom, DH and I included MIL and DH aunt on a fun Fall day trip in the next state,,my MIL actually announced that she left her phone and home.. Whoever calls is going to have to leave a message. I bit my tongue, but surely that might not have anything to do with an overly needy 30 year old grandchild who says she calls her several times a day. Never thought Id see the day when MIL dared to place the Golden Child on hold like everyone else. Maybe ,,just maybe she is seeing some kind of light..maybe just a tiny flash...and how she cant indulge my SD's constant appetitte for attention all the time. I mean, we were going to be in the Next State, so what was any of us supposed to do should SD need MIL at her beck and call? I was glad that she was going to have to go straight to Voicemail like anyone else.for a change. 

Its not only the constant annoying calls for nothing, going back to Xmas, DH's aunt and MIL ( they have lived together as widow roomates for a little over a year now in the Aunts home) for years since I dont know when throw a big Xmas Eve party for family that has a strictly open door policy..anyone can come and go at any time they can. . Never ONCE ( at least SD arrived in the couple of years when I wasnt able to attend) have I seen SD darken the doorstep there. Guess she always had something better to do..

She was never told she was unwelcome,.at least not by me, But Im sure its my fault if she feels any discomfort attending. This year being no different. 

Thats why I find it funny how she suddenly had time and was willing to go out of her way to roll up kind of last minute on Christmas Morning.  Knowing her constant need for attention, like my MIL..shocked SD doesnt have a tracking device installed on her somehow) , I doubt its a coincidece that she conviently never appears to the family Xmas eve gathering, because that would mean that SD and her spawn wouldnt be Center State and top  billing. MIL would actually have to pay attention to other guests too. So of course, she waits until she can have it alll to herself. ..when no one has a choice but to indulge her. 

Once again, this circumstance is not limited to the holidays. I have noticed, looking back carefully even over the last 15 years I have been married, that she has not bothered to make an appearance at other DH family events, whether it be graduations, DH's aunt and uncle Golden anniversary party...DH's aunts 80th birthday..etc. you get the idea. Cant help but notice that these events, like the Xmas festivities, also meant that someone else who isnt SD or her brats, would be the center of attention and in the spotlight. 

But also like with Christmas, Im sure  she  will use me as an excuse for her absense at these gatherings too. 

Even knowing this, I still have to get through today's visit with  MIL and the aunt. Always still the chance that SD will show up ( even though past trends have proved otherwise, but still feel apprehensive about running into her)

  Not sure if Dh wants to stay long for the party..he doesnt seem like he wants to. NO influence from me. I stuck to my guns and not interfering if I dont have to. I told him since its his day to spend with his relatives (  if he so desires or not) then the ball is his court. Same with SD. I want to say he spent some time, and delivered gifts to her and the grands. I adopted the dont ask dont tell Policy...and stuck with it t his year. Stuck with my disengagement from being the Jolly Christmas acitivities director for him and his family,.even with SD and the kids. Put that all on him.  I do feel proud of myself for achieiving that this year.  Just simply carried on with my own traditions and holiday joy  for  MY comfort...not doing that for SD's sake anymore.