OT - Ladies …. Guard your time
This is just my experience....
But I've noticed that some men seem to think they own your time.
One of the things I disliked most about living with men is how they think you're supposed to be at their beck and call 24/7.
Dudes be like ..... "Oh you Just got off work? Ok now it's time for you to go take care of kids, run my errands, clean up after me and these kids, listen to me b*tch n moan (aka be my free therapist), participate in my delusions, etc"
Dont let yourself be tired, sick, depressed, or just need a moment to meditate etc....
I found myself
- adding 30 minutes before and after my work shifts when asked "what's your work schedule";
- pretending to be asleep so I wouldn't have to play free therapist at the end of my own stressful day;
- waking up super early to get a head start on an hour of "me" time;
- turning my phone on DND between respectable hours
- etc
Some of these men were not raised right and looking for mommy 2.0, exwife 2.0, free b@ng maid, free therapist, nurse with a purse, hospice care wife, child support subsidizer, on-demand p0rn st@r, crisis fixer, etc ...
Not sure if I'll ever live with a man again or marry a man .... unless he actively demonstrates what benefit it would be to engage in a long term partnership with him.
the word NO (FINAL ANSWER) and the DND button has tremendously increased my mental peace
- Lillywy00's blog
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Comments
PFFT!
I just got off the phone with Chef who is blaming me for him not looking at the calendar on his own phone and making a verbal commitment without putting said appointment on the calendar.
Example: I will make an appointment 6 months in advance because it takes that long to get say a dentist appointment. Now that the appointment is upon us he did not look at his calendar all late last week to see what appointments he had and made a verbal commitment to a customer without putting that appointment in the calendar as well.
Now he has a scheduling conflict between the dentist and this verbal commitment he made and that is somehow my fault even though he has a calendar on his phone and the ability to make, edit and to see all of his appointments!
He does this all.the.time. Now I don't recall hearing him say that he was going to do an install on Monday it's definitely not in the calendar. All I heard was he would be dropping off the equipment this past Friday which I put on the calendar.
So somehow I am supposed to be omnipresent and constantly remind him as his eternal secretary what his appointments are even if I'm not there!
P.S. the coup de gras I had been reminding him about this dentist appointment ALL LAST WEEK!
So had he bothered
To use his calendar correctly last week when he was making a verbal commitment he would have seen the conflict right away! LOL. And yet that is all my fault because he "does too much as it is with all of his renovations" (TM)
somehow I am supposed to be
yes you're supposed to be omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient
How dare you forget to remind him of his reminders
Lol
J/k
This reminds me of the first company I worked for out of college
How dare you forget to remind him of his reminders
They had a cultural term that was providing a "Commit to commit." The theory was that if you can't say when something will be done then you owe a commitment to provide when you will commit to a completion date.
It basically was a get out of jail free card for those who had no intention of doing what they were supposed to do when they were supposed to do it.
I still have shake my head moments over those memories.
I find that ironic that when
I find that ironic that when we try to suggest ways to save time/be more efficient.....they stay thwarting the process
I think that a partner that
I think that a partner that monopolizes your time without it being a reciprocal desire should be viewed as having a red flag.
If you feel your partner is isolating you from your life.. from your interests.. that's a red flag.
If you feel your partner is weighing you down with oblgations .. that's a red flag
If you feel a partner is overly mindful of where you are and when you will be home.. that's a red flag.
If your partner is acting helpless with adult responsibilities.. that's a red flag.
This is for step life or not.
I think too many people.. esp women initially see these things as "oh.. how sweet he needs me".. "oh how nice.. he wants to spend his time with me..".. "oh he is so devoted to me".. but they ignore the red flag part of it.. and are often just seeing it all through the rose colored glasses of a "new' relationship.
They want it to work.. they don't want to be seen as needy.. they want to be useful and feel wanted..