It's just teenagers?
That's what my friend said...well, I'm not so sure.
It was my birthday last week. Ss 13 arrived and just acted weird to brat all day.
He can clearly see my opened presents and balloons, banners, yet he ignores me and says to dd7
'Where were you elves this morning '
'Playing in mummy's present pile, look! :)'
'Oh right' (crickets)
It's mummy's birthday:)
'I know!' Eyeroll then crickets.
OK whatever the lad doesn't want to say happy birthday. So then we go for this arranged santa hunt around the local park, I've paid for him also to recieve a present at the end. Bit he's bored, cold, more bored, when can we leave. Gritted my teeth, dh failed to shut him up.
Gets home, he decides they are going in the garden to play with the ice. I'll keep it brief, he deliberately picked up a plant pots worth of Ice with a solar water pump In it, and dropped it into dds tough tray, smashing it to bits, whilst smirking at me. I clapped sarcastically. Dh was over there like 'get here now you two!!!' I calmly said not dd, in you come darling, its just HIM to roast, thank you! Shuts door.
So this weekend is last time for us and all his relatives to see him, well eff arranging that, dh can. Dh asked If he can do Sunday. Surprise he asked bm , and now he has plans Saturday and Sunday so dh is meant to get him stupid time of evening , him stay, then be dropped home at 8am! Nope, we have Carol concerts and activities both nights, the relatives can't make it work either, so just forget it. What I actually said was ' right well you will have to pick him up bring him to us at the service. But tell him to say the bored word just once and you're driving him home, so if bms busy she best get unbusy. I'm not tolerating crip this weekend '
Dh sighed said OK I'll ask him, he said it'll be too boring...
Problem solved , skid free weekend
Suppose I should add that we have him Tues night so dh can take him to relatives to drain everyone of presents and money, not say thank you or see you next year!
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I know plenty of well behaved
I know plenty of well behaved, polite, appreciative teenagers. Now, I don't have any of my own, so I can't vouch for how those teens are with only their immediate family around, but I'm willing to bet they don't act like your SS because their parents wouldn't put up with much of that.
Its how its addressed
In my non-bio opinion - yeah teens are testing boundaries. When they test the boundaries, what are the repercussions - I think thats what is missing.
He sounds like hes a brat. SD16 PS used to go out of her way to say shes bored. We stopped taking her, after explaining that telling us shes bored is her talking herself out of these "boring activities".
Now, when forced to include her, when she asks "when is it over" I just know she has an expiration on it, and just go "hmmmmm, I dont know, Im sorry!"
Good for you standing up and not taking his cripe. Let DH deal with it - all of it.
Teens, and teen boys in
Teens, and teen boys in particular are not well known for their empathy.
But I don't think that is it's just a teen thing. Step teens are their own breed. They go out of their way to make sure that step parents know just how little they care about them. They make a big deal out of treating you like you are invisible, unless they're getting something out of you.
Hey when you combine that with a younger sibling these step teens become even more petty and immature.
This!! Thank you
He so comes down to her level, and worse. Dd7 isn't spiteful , yet he acts totally immature , destructive and spiteful with her, the kids her age in the street, and at wider gatherings
Not entirely
Not entirely. He is 13 so that is a tough age, where the SD's talk incessantly about nothing and the ss's are always bored. But, now is a perfect time to start teaching him manners. Your DH needs to step up if he wants this kid to EVER grow out of this behavior.
My SD16 has low empathy, is super critical of others, and very self absorbed. She usually doesn't want to talk to DH because she is busy watching TV at her moms, but when he asked her last night what her Christmas list was....lo and behold she talked for 30 minutes! It wasn't really a conversation, just her going on about what she wants, and how she doesn't want it too look too "cheap" and blabbity blah blah. She is going to make some man a great HCBM some day. LOL. DH has just now started disciplining his kids. The oldest is 21, then 18 and the SD16. He is just now figuring out how spoiled they are. Ouch. Hopefully your DH won't make the same mistake.
Not entirely
Not entirely. He is 13 so that is a tough age, where the SD's talk incessantly about nothing and the ss's are always bored. But, now is a perfect time to start teaching him manners. Your DH needs to step up if he wants this kid to EVER grow out of this behavior.
My SD16 has low empathy, is super critical of others, and very self absorbed. She usually doesn't want to talk to DH because she is busy watching TV at her moms, but when he asked her last night what her Christmas list was....lo and behold she talked for 30 minutes! It wasn't really a conversation, just her going on about what she wants, and how she doesn't want it too look too "cheap" and blabbity blah blah. She is going to make some man a great HCBM some day. LOL. DH has just now started disciplining his kids. The oldest is 21, then 18 and the SD16. He is just now figuring out how spoiled they are. Ouch. Hopefully your DH won't make the same mistake.
Both of mine say thank you.
Both of mine say thank you. My DD tells me thank you for even the small things, like I'll fix her plate for her when she gets home from work and she appreciates it. My son will say thank you for things too. They both say thank you for presents, etc. DD is 16, DS is 12. They were taught to say thank you and I have always reinforced it by thanking them when they do something to help me.
If they're bored somewhere they're at least polite enough to say it where only I can hear it.
A couple people who don't
A couple people who don't know the extend of our situation with the SDs have "oh, once OSD is in college she'll start talking with DH again, she's just being a teen!" or "Oh, YSD will start making new friends and become more social as she gets older, she's just in the awkward teen phase." Yeah, no to both.
Its a shame
As I thought I was getting somewhere with this kid as he grew up, (lol) apparently not... I'm ramping up the disengagement now. Absolutely
Just another mantra and anthem of moron failed parents.
"They are just teenagers.' I parentalmorons who cause this crap. If they do not kill this crap immediately, they are condoning and facilitating it.
smh