My DH went for primary custody when SD was 3. It was nasty. Him and BM both were fighting everything back and forth. In the end, DH settled because his lawyer met him in the hallway of the courthouse and said "I don't know what to do. We've submitted everything we can against her. I don't know what to tell you. I think you should settle."

DH is now fighting for custody again, right now. I have read all his paper work from the original case and I told DH that he shouldn't have settled. He would have gotten cutody if he went to trial. It was obvious BM was unfit then. He knows this, but back then he was 23 and didn't know what to do when his own lawyer gave up and got tired of defending all the lies. No excuse, I know.

In the end DH got two midweek visits for two hours each and every other weekend and one week in the summer. It's sad.
DH now has primary temporary custody of SD because he is doing it without a lawyer and BM is just plain crazy and she seems to have given up.

I think a father or mother should fight to the end if they truely believe what they're doing is the right thing. I would never give up.

My Dh had 20% custody, then he went for 50% and got that, because BM has PAS'd the eldest skid, so now he is fighting for full custody.

My boyfriend has full custody of their son, she has full custody of the daughter. This past summer, he brought a motion to change the custody because the BM disappeared for over a month when he was only supposed to have his daughter for a week! His ex is a known drug user and has been in and out of rehab forever, so when she disappears, he knows she's back abusing alcohol and drugs. He asked the courts to be awarded immediate custody for the safety of his daughter (when she finally reappeared) and demanded the BM be forced to take a drug test. This has been his best shot at getting custody of both the kids and the judge wouldn't order the drug test or change the custody order. The female judge actually argued with him as to why both kids couldn't live with the BM!!! Um hello, it's bad enough one kid has to live with a druggie loser mother, so why don't we let both kids live with her?! Idiots I tell you. We live in Ontario, Canada and the family court system up here is a bloody joke. A mother abusing drugs ( with an extensive history of abuse) is allowed to keep custody of her daughter, yet the courts say they have the best interests of the children at heart...please! It seems unless you get a sensible judge, the mothers always win and good fathers are penalized.

mH now has sole custody and BM has suspended visitation...which was granted because of criminal activity. When DH and I first were dating BM had sole custody...but she decided she wanted to be free so DH gladly took custody.... a few monthes later BM decided she wanted 50/50 and since SS was so young DH and I thought it would be in his best interest.... fast forward 6yrs and many out of court fluctuations of the split 60/40, 75/25, 100/0...DH and I decided it was best to get something nailed down... we went to atty....trying to make the process as painless and seamless as possble to SS and we were told that unless we proved her extremely unfit we prob wouldn't get more than 60/40. BM has DCF charges brought against her by SS school and atty still said odds were not good...yrs later again reached out to atty when BM stopped taking SS on her scheduled weekends and got arrested the first 3 times... told by atty "even a serial killer could argue to keep their rights...and the judge would consider it..because they want to keep the parental relationship intact".... I thought you've got to be kidding me... we didn't follow through at the time out of fear of opening the can of worms with SS stuck in the crossfire... I wish I didn't believe it but the courts assume a mother should be better bonded to her child...but sometimes its just not there....

My husband went for full custody and gave up and settled for 20% the day of the trial. Hours before the trial false alligations were presented to the counselor at school, then the attorney's. Bm displayed PAS and continues to do so.

Prior to the trial my husband was granted Temp. Custody due to abandonment.

DH has very little contact with Skids presently. They are totally out of control in our opinion. I believe SD has realized BM took their entire college fund to purchase a house which has since fallen into forclosure.

Since then her lawyer has sued her for attorney fees and provided him with documents of her case. It's obvious what she was doing and we sometimes wonder if theres a reason the Attorney supplied him with the documents.

He loves his children dearly and feels that fighting for them now due to the PA is useless. His lawyer mentioned to him several times why fight for these brats? With each passing day we can see them from a distance get more and more out of hand. The thing with PAS is when you teach a child it's ok to disrespect NCP, disrespect should be acceptable for the CP which is exactly whats happening now. From my view point she has her hands full. We wait for the day they show up on our doorstep with the police.

Our hopes are that someday PAS will be recongnized so other NCP don't have to endure what he has.