I am a SM to SD6 (with BD since birth...long story and longer custody battle) and BM to D17 and S14. I am having major issues with different expectations for SD6 in comparison to D17 and S14 by H. (I hope I am getting these acronyms correct)

D17 and S14 were and are held to very high expectations...specifically when dealing with manners and levels of responsibility, personal and otherwise. H and I were in total agreement when we decided to involve kids in relationship on those expectations. Issue is, those same expectations don't apply to SD6, age appropriate of course. H will not discipline SD6 in front of the rest of us and when I say something about a behavior, he walks away. The result, SD6 ignores (and I mean ignores) the rest of us and H and SD6 go off by themselves and 'play'. I have addressed this issue numerous time...contributing factors are H family do not recognize myself or my BKids as part of the family and make that very clear in front of SD6 and BM to SD6 is very vocal as to her dislike and openly shares this with her daughter.

Today when I addressed a solution that I will assume if he feels a behavior is unacceptable, it is up to him to address, I will no longer. His response was that he only sees BD6 half the time and what did I want...him not to spend time with her? I reminded him that NO ONE interferes with his time with BD6 nightly hour or so bedtime routine nor there special morning time. I fully recognize the importance of 'quality time', but it is important to recognize the importance of 'family time'.

I truly feel like I have served my purpose of helping to fight for his rights to be a father and now that SD6 is in school, the necessity of a SM is less. This especially holds true when his family is here for the summer...and just found out plan to be here for the winter as well.

Whewww...that was a mouthful! Any ideas on how to improve the situation would be greatly appreciated!