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Whaaaaattttttt?

Learning to Stepparent's picture

So DH and BM went to mediation a few weeks ago to hammer out the summer visitation schedule. According to the previous CO BM is supposed to have SD6 for half the summer, no weekends, no breaks, we send her down after school lets out and don't get her back until half the summer is over. BM has NEVER wanted that time. She takes a 3 week block in which she goes out west to visit her family and then EOWE after that but the CO was never changed.

This summer, BM says she wants to take SD to Colorado for 3 weeks again. Fine, no problem. Then she says she found out from her boss when she needs to be back to open the office in early July so she has to be back from Colorado by then and still wants to be out there for 3 full weeks. Then, she says she wants to be back in time to send SD back so she can go to Niagara Falls without SD and be back from that before she has to open the office meaning she wants to take SD out of school for the last 7 days of the year. SD's teacher is not happy but can't really tell her no and since we took the kids out of school this past fall for the wedding we can't really say much either.

Anyway, DH finally said he wanted the CO changed to reflect how they do summer visitation and BM said she wanted to go to mediation. Took them an hour and a half where all of a sudden BM wants half the summer like she is supposed to get. She is taking SD out of school on June 7th and keeping her until July 3rd, EOWE in July, then a full week in August. At some point in there BM decided she did want to bring SD to Niagara Falls after all. I don't know what happened in there to make the switch from what she originally wanted to what they landed on but whatever. Hopefully she actually steps up to the plate and follows through. She also mentioned in mediation that in 2 years she would be getting a promotion at work and would then spend tax season in Australia. I don't have any idea how that is possible. She is not a CPA or has ever lived in Australia or anything. She doesn't even have a degree of any kind. The sum total of her qualifications are a high school diploma, working at McDonald's, and 3 season at H&R Block. But again, whatever.

BM had SD this weekend and called DH yesterday to let him now that she was cramping really bad and had kidney stones and she had to go to the ER again (that is the second visit to the ER in the last 3 weekends she had SD, the other time was for pink eye) and she didn't know if she would be able to bring SD back today and DH may have to drive the full 3 hours to her house to pick SD up rather than meeting halfway in between. She apparently was able to make the trip though she had some guy we don't know drive her.

As soon as SD got home she talked about how her mommy had to go to the "RV" because her tummy hurt from the diamonds in there and she stayed with Kyle and Jake. We do not know who Kyle and Jake are. All we know is that SD did not stay with BM's roommates, she took SD somewhere else entirely.

So strange.

Comments

Learning to Stepparent's picture

Yeah, we are really curious but I don't know that we have any way to actually find out. BM won't tell the truth about it.

Learning to Stepparent's picture

I wouldn't be so sure. Memorial Day weekend last year SD came home with a black eye saying BM did it. We did what we were supposed to do, we reported it, and CPS did some sort of cursory investigation and said there was no problem at all with BM taking SD out of the state for 3 weeks to visit her family a grand total of 5 days after the incident. She did some sort of in home parenting program through CPS, they saw she lived with roommates and that SD doesn't have a place to sleep even though when the case started BM lived by herself (because all her roommates at the previous apartment had moved out) and SD did have her own room but then she moved again and had roommates again and SD is back to sleeping in a trundle bed in BM's room, or so we assume, for all we know she is sleeping on the couch.

DH called the caseworker at the Friend of the Court to report the abuse and all they said was well, if you want to change visitation, you can ask for a mediation appointment. Basically, no help there.

Learning to Stepparent's picture

Then he would be in violation of the court order and we all know how that goes when the CP refuses to allow the NCP visitation.

Would we win? Maybe, but we would be in court for months and have thousands in legal bills and there is definitely no guarantee we would win, especially considering CPS is apparently aware of the living situation and has no issues with it.

Learning to Stepparent's picture

I have no evidence, or extremely flimsy evidence to support this theory but I was wondering why BM all of a sudden changed from wanting SD for 3 weeks to half the summer. Now that she is suddenly leaving SD with strange men we don't know I'm wondering if she has a new boyfriend and is trying to project the motherly image. Who knows.