Is it okay to tell my DH that if my questions and concerns about skids cause arguments, and if my ideas aren't supported, he shouldn't ask me to support them financially or with transportation needs?

Loghead and I had a family meeting tonight. Our family therapist wanted him to commit to meet with me once a week to discuss my concerns, questions and issues. She thought this would lessen my anxiety, and wouldn't make me "pounce" on him with info the minute he walks in the door at night. In the 2 weeks we've been doing this, it has helped a little.

Tonight he barely listened, but there were lots of "yes, dear"s. He said he would do one thing, and 20 minutes after the meeting when the opportunity presented itself, he did the exact opposite of what we agreed to do.

Then about 15 minutes later I ask where PITA 15 is, and he says he let him spend the night at a friend's house. I asked why; we don't normally do that on a school night, and Loghead blew up and told me to leave it alone, he'd already told the skid yes, it's 10 o'clock, why does it matter?

I guess in the big picture, it doesn't. Other than PITA knows I don't like school night sleep overs and he asked his dad anyway. Loghead knows I don't like school night sleep overs and he said yes anyway.

It undermines my authority with PITA and shows him he doesn't have to do what I say if Loghead doesn't. It shows me Loghead doesn't really care about my feelings on parental issues.

I've already disengaged in many ways- I don't cook for them, I don't do their laundry, I only give them what they want if I get something out of it. (You want to use my laptop- empty the dishwasher; that kinda thing...)

Loghead doesn't want me asking them to do chores, he doesn't want me telling them to do chores, he doesn't want me telling them my opinions...

Yet, he lost his job in DEcember. His filler job is just enough to keep food on the table. I make the house payment. I paid for Princess's senior trip. Lazy Boye 14 needs shoes for track and I'm supposed to pay for that this weekend. PITA and Lazy Boye aren't old enough to drive and Princess isn't always around so I am expected to pick them up after sports practices since Loghead doesn't get home till almost 8...

In anger 2 weeks ago he told me to take our son and move out this summer. He finally admitted he didn't mean it, and said it in anger. I told him I would stay, but some things needed to get better.

If I tell him that if my opinions and feelings regarding the skids and their activities are not supported I shouldn't be asked to pay anything or transport anyone, is that the same as telling him this marriage is over?