So we had SO's jealousy earlier this weekend that was a joy and I had a little panic about it in trying to handle it. I remembered who I am and stood my ground after the "you waited 13 years to follow your dreams you can wait a little longer" comment (his kids are 6 and 7, mine 18 and stb13) and I don't have to bend to any man. To add to this my exh decided to jump in and stir it up.
Back story ds got a detention. I was out of town and exh had him and ds LIED to both of us. First he never told exh he got it, then when he had no choice but to tell me he lied about why he got it. So I made ds text his dad to get picked up since I had to work. DS however told him he had to stay after to get homework help (no he got in trouble for bullying)
Now exh is one of those people who will never ever forgive a fib, an exaggeration or even little white lie. I ground ds for the detention, the bullying (though he was just doing what everyone else was he didn't stop when the kid, his friend and the teacher asked) and the lying. No anything, but sitting at the table reading a book and doing chores. exh says he will handle punishment at his house. This is NOT typical. Usually I tell him what the kids have screwed up at or done, we discuss options, punishments etc and come to a joint decision especially if punishment will affect his weekends. This "I'll talk to him when I see him" is very out of character after 4 years (gf and exh have been together 2-3 yrs depending on what day exh tells the story).
Mind you parenting is the ONLY thing we've managed jointly over the almost 4 years apart.
Okay fine I figure he'd get the same punishment there as exh and I have identical views on parenting and punishment just not marriage and faithfulness. (exh's gf is so permissive parenting my dd18 is concerned about where her pseudo step sister is going to end up)
Today I would get ds back at 6 from exh's eowe visit, but around 3 he wanders in (ex and I are within sharpshooter range of each other)so I told ds that though his dad said he could go to his friends (crazy neighbors son exh's bff aka cuntface whore) since crazy neighbors son was busy for another hour ds could #1 go back to his dads, #2 sit at the table, or #3 take the dog for a walk. DS chose dog.
I told exh he said okay. then ds asked if he could stay at exh's an extra night I said no.
Here's why: I have as the sole custodian parent requested 24 hours notice, exh and ds ignore this, exh is in no way punishing ds for the lying, detention, not doing schoolwork, and I have plans for ds, exh then later calls me screams at me about how since ds lied to him he could pick punishment and I was..... I hung up he was yelling and I REFUSE to be yelled at by my exh.
As I'm texting him that Tuesday or Wednesday are options this happens:
exh: "I want him to stay another night"
Me "your weekend ends at 6"
exh :"so I can't have him at all for spring break" (Co says I have sole custody he gets eowe, split Christmas, Thanksgiving etc major holidays nothing about spring or summer breaks that's up to me and that's what exh gets for never coming to court and only giving 2 flying F's about taxes)
me: "your weekend ends at 6"
exh "you already Fucking said that! But as the other parent I think I should be allowed to have him some during spring break."
Me thinking how best to respond or not respond says nothing
Exh: "Then again why would I expect you to be any different than the person I know you are. See you at 6 boss"
(this is getting seriously old to me)
Me "He's not spending tonight if you would like to discuss other options that may be available that is fine Tuesday or Wednesday would be a better choice. If his behavior is excellent and he's done his chores without arguing he'll be ungrounded and staying with friend on Thurs."
got exh's text from before the last I sent and rose to his digs
Me " I know, I know I'm mean and hateful and on and on its so time to move on"
exh "It's my own fault for thinking you'd be reasonable. It won't happen again"
Me: "I'm not sure how offering different days other than tonight is unreasonable but okay if that is not reasonable I can retract my offer?"
exh: "Don't for a second act like you would do anything but exactly what you want."
At this point I want to smash my or his head in. Ds walks in and tells me "Dad said he had to have me back by 6 on the dot or this time you might call the cops." (I've never even threatened this wtf?!)
Me: "Are you reading my texts messages at all? Wtf I said no to tonight and now you are telling our son I'm going to call the cops?! Dude you're losing it."
At that time SO was at the store, exh's gf works in a shop in the plaza and exh was picking her up, according to SO exh revved his car at SO like he was going to run him over and SO stood and stared him down.
Exh never responded to having ds on other days.
Exh's gf stated to DD she's so tired of how much emotional energy exh spends on me.
I can't wait to get the fuck away from all this. I feel bad for my son, and exh's gf, exh needs a new hobby other than his brooding over me and his obsession with cuntface crazy neighbor