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How to ruin a good weekend by child catcher ( rant)

Lady.Tremaine's picture

To preface- I had long ago named BM child catcher as she would often try to lure at least youngest away from weekends with whatever she could ( promises of ice cream, outings etc.) That died down after SD6 had started staying overnight again but last weekend was a doozie of drama which may actually have some impact on DH letting BM have phone calls during our weekends.

So Friday besides her texting him 3 or 4 times to check in on the " babies" goes fine. 

Saturday morning he received 7 texts and 2 missed phone calls between 9-12 . We took the kids to a local arcade that is maybe 1000 square feet. It's one of those wristband ones which is only a 3 minute drive from the house. He texts her back to explain and she asks that he asks the youngest to call her.

We try to give some privacy to them when calling child catcher but it's a tiny space. We over hear her telling the youngest to make sure we watch her all the time and cling to her.  Both the kids even explain to their own mother it's a small space and everything is fine but she's sticking to how dangerous this place is? Ok.

Later on after our second visit to the arcade she asks DH to ask youngest if she'd like to talk. She sort of does. She does for a bit but when eldest asks to talk to her youngest has a mental breakdown for some reason? And mommie dearest makes eldest give the phone back to the youngest who is just having a damn fit. Eldest takes the phone back as youngest isn't doing anything on the call besides having a fit. Instead of Child catcher trying to talk to eldest who really seemed to want to talk about her day she keeps babbling about " what's wrong with Youngest? What happened to youngest? Eldest can you ask youngest what's wrong?"

We end up offering youngest a bath while BM is ranting and she happily goes for it. We tell eldest to say good night to mom ( who of course makes a statement of if youngest wants to go home she can yadda yadda)

SD6 gets out of the bath and basically explains she wants to stay the night but feels bad about leaving her mom alone.  She had a fit due to conflicting feelings.

Well there's a lot to unpack here:

1. Their mother is trying very hard to keep youngest a baby 

2. Their mother seems to not care about SD8s feelings because SD6 is the baby

3. There's a lot of mom's rules that she thinks go to our home. Bitch they don't. We aren't letting them lose at a Walmart it's a tiny arcade with every single thing visible.They crave tiny bits of independence ( which to her family is apparently letting them know what twerking is due to tiktok without a watchful eye)

Now dumb ass husband says he will not allow the phone calls unless the kids ask for it. I'm not betting on it but next weekend is father's day so I am taking the girls to a garden center to get a plant for dad for a few hours. Let's see how that goes 

 

No wonder she doesn't have a damn boyfriend. 

 

Comments

CastleJJ's picture

Do you guys have a CO? If so, you guys are giving BM too much rope. Why did you tell BM about the arcade? It's none of her business what you do on your parenting time. BM does not get to make or enforce rules in your home. You need to stop justifying your actions or trying to defend yourself to BM because she doesn't get a say in the matter. 

The courts find 1 phone call per day to be reasonable. So, allow the kids to call once per day (make them call at the same time together, so you aren't doing one call per kid) and be done with it. Don't allow the girls to call whenever THEY ask because BM will groom them to call all the time. Our BM did this and trained SS to want to call all the time. When we called him out on it, he said BM made him do it. If BM throws a fit and texts and calls nonstop, so what? Turn the phone off. You don't have unlimited access to your kids during the other parent's parenting time. That's just life and she needs to stop trying to control and interfere with everything. 

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

Please read about parental alienation. Everything BM is doing is part of the brainwashing process. I'd there isn't some form of intervention it will only get worse 

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Y'all are allowing BM to interfere too much. Idk how often you have the kids, but having this b!tch constantly calling and texting sounds very disruptive. I agree that if they just can't possibly go a day without the kids talking to each parent (and i think daily contact is too disruptive unless there are long stretches without one or the other parent), have a scheduled phone call time at the same time every day.

It might sound harsh, but i think the daily contact thing (in cases of shared custody) is more for the benefit of the parents than the kids, and can be stressful and confusing for the kids, keeping them from developing a routine and also keeping them from being able to be fully present at whatever home they are in. If one parent has to go an extended time without seeing the kid, like over a week or two, then schedule regular contact but don't allow the bullsh!t you describe. 

Winterglow's picture

Please put a stop to the endless phone calls. 15 minutes are more than enough. She doesn't get to sit and watch the children, play. If she wants to do that she can do it in her own home. The child is with you to spend time with their father, not to perform for their mother.