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SS11 has NO respect for BM...ROFL

lac925's picture

Submitted by lac925 on Mon, 02/18/2013 - 4:59pm

BM thinks shes the MOTY, accusing DH and I of "verbally and physically abusing" her kids (or in OUR case, asking SS11 to stop harassing SD9, and DH physically (but not harmfully) moving SS11 away from SD9, who he was KICKING!), and saying that our house is unfit for her kids (what, because we don't have a thousand animals running around, and we have food in our cupboards, and it doesn't reek of smoke everywhere you go?)...and just basically thinking she's better than us.

Well, this last weekend that we had the skids, she told DH to bring them back early (we had originally agreed to keep them an extra day) because they had birthday parties to go to. SS11 and SD9 had NO CLUE what she was talking about so they asked DH if they could call her. So she calls his cell (she had figured out our home number and started calling at all hours of the night, so we had it changed AND unlisted!) to talk to the kids. SD9 talked to her like a normal 9-yr-old would talk to her mother. Fine. THEN...SS11 gets on the phone with her. And I gotta tell you, if MY son ever talked to me the way SS11 talked to BM, I'd be giving him a good smack in the mouth!

SS11 basically YELLED at BM the whole time, demanding this or that, calling her a "stoner dog" (??) - because she smokes pot every day and yes, the kids know about it! - and just...begin downright disrespectful. I've never had any issues with SS before, but lately, he's starting to get out of hand. And if he's talking to his mother this way at 11-yrs-old, good luck! He treats his younger sister the same way. I told DH that he's either going to a) not get any girlfriends when he's older, or b) his girlfriends will be as bad as he is, yelling and demanding. DH agreed. It was truly an eye-opener!

But I can't stop thinking how maybe BM was embarrassed to be talked to like this, in DH's home, and with ME there to hear it all! LOL I mean, he doesn't talk to ME that way. I guess she's not such a "great mother" after all Wink That's what happens when you spoil your kids rotten and don't discipline!

Comments

lac925's picture

Submitted by lac925 on Mon, 02/18/2013 - 5:21pm

I think it's more how BM speaks to HIM, and how SHE treats people. He picks it up from HER. We've tried FOR YEARS to teach these kids how to behave properly and treat each other with respect, but we only get them EOWE, so whatever we tell them gets erased the minute they get home. DH constantly tries to discipline SS11, but it's to no avail. THEN, the ONE TIME DH tries to discipline the kids, BM gets on HIS case about being "abusive'! So either way, WE CAN'T WIN Sad So, sometimes, as bad as it is, it's better to just leave well enough alone. Our BS5 doesn't talk to ME this way, so it's not a question of DH "not teaching his son to speak respectfully to a grown woman". It's tough when there's different sets of rules at both houses. And I'm sure a LOT of SM's feel the same way.

lac925's picture

Submitted by lac925 on Mon, 02/18/2013 - 5:41pm

SS11 isn't his only kid. He has a 9-yr-old daughter (with BM) and a 5-yr-old with me, and they BOTH don't yell at any of their parents. So DH obviously can't be THAT bad of a parent. Anyway, I doubt SS11 was being intentionally verbally abusive to his mother; he was just being loud. (I forgot to mention that he was diagnosed with ADHD a few years back; not that I'm blaming that, and I don't want to get into another debate over it) And I'm sure she was dishing it all back to him. So in that case, should DH have chastised BM as well for yelling at her son? They will do what they wanna do. And our hands are tied because whatever we do, or try to do, WE'RE the bad guys. And quite frankly, yes, it is his mother's fault. So why not point the finger at HER? We can only do so much when the kids are here (EOWE). Do you honestly think they'll listen to what WE say when they're just going to go home to their own set of rules?

Anyway, this thread wasn't about DH's so-called "poor parenting skills". It was supposed to be a light-hearted stab at showing that BM isn't all as great as she seems.

*Now I understand about how some people feel "attacked" on this site*

lac925's picture

Submitted by lac925 on Mon, 02/18/2013 - 5:29pm

I understand where you're coming from, esp since we have 2 young boys of our own. DH DOES chastise the skids when they step out of line, but we've tried for sooooo long to try to set things right and it hasn't changed one bit. BM basically has no respect for anyone, so that's where he gets it from. She was yelling right back at him on the phone! We DO have rules that they have to follow in our house, but if you knew these kids... Anyway, it isn't an issue with DH NOT disciplining his kids - when he DOES and they go and tell BM, she's all over him, telling him to leave the kids alone!

I mean, how much of the responsibility does BM have in all this? She's the one showing the kids that it's ok to disrespect people, and to call the cops when someone pisses you off, and to not listen to someone just because "she isn't your mom"...Shouldn't SHE be held accountable, too? Anyway, BM doesn't deserve ANY respect from anyone.

Like they say, you're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't.