:? In the last few months, there has been so many downs that it is hard to find an up. I am a mother of three biochildren and SM to 4 SD. I have been with DH for 10 years and some things just never change.

We recently lost my oldest SD due to epilepsy which led to cardiac arrest. She was 24 years young and a beautiful soul. Her attitude, smile and just all around great nature is truly missed by all of us.

Her sister on the other hand is just pure evil. We have had several fallings out over the last ten years. The first one my daughter was 4 years old and SD grabbed my daughter by the arm and ripped her up out of a chair because she wanted to sit there. SD left fingernail marks in my daughters arm and ran for the room screaming at me to go ahead and hit her because her mom would sue the shit out of me.

(sorry I was interrupted and could not finish my thoughts)

At 16 this same evil ran away from her BM and came to live with us. She did not get her way one night to run around with her "friends" and ran away from us. I was the one that found her and went to get her (told her to get her ass in the car and I was not going to put up with this bullshit). She listened but then made life hell on us after that. We eventually got tired of chasing her and called her in as a run away. When we went to court, her BM, DH and I she was brought in an orange jail jumpsuit and hand cuffs we as parents cried and she sat with a shit eating grin on her face. She was placed in foster care as she made both of her parents sound abusive.

We had very little contact with her for over 2 years (her choice). She became pregnant at 19 and after she had baby we were allowed to be around her (in my opinion only because she did not want to be a mom). We practically raised that baby and she became pregnant again right away (we have two grandbabies 11 months apart). She is not a good mom at all. Her BM now has them full time and has had them for about 2 years consistently. (short story of it).

She was living with us right after she had her second child, her and her boyfriend (father of the two babies)could not get along (became physical, I blame her) so she came to our home. One morning, (my birthday) all hell broke loose because DH was tired of her lazy ways with her babies. Little one soaked through the sheets because she would get up to give her a bottle but never to change her. Baby's bottom was so red and bleeding. He told her she was the worst mother he ever met and how would she like to sit in that over night and have sores. My BD at the time was 10 and trying to help with baby and change her and feed her. SD freaked out on her and grabbed her by her hair and through her to the floor. I totally lost it and physically assaulted SD. I know it was not right but I could not believe that she would put her hands on my BD. I threw her out of my home keeping the babies inside with us. Needless to say we had to give her the babies and she left for a few weeks. We had a tragedy in our family and it gave her an opportunity to swoop back in. She gave me an "apology" (sorry for whatever I did) and then acted as if nothing happened. She stayed for about a week then off she goes again. There is a pattern. Everytime she gets kicked out of one home she comes here.

She does not have a home of her own. She bounces from house to house (between family and friends). She is able to stay at one home usually a few weeks to a couple of months. She has no respect for other peoples belongings and space. She feels that everything is owed to her. She burns bridges everywhere she goes and of course it is not her fault, everyone else just flips out on her for no reason at all.

So this is where it is too much all at once, when we lost SD in January, second SD had an opportunity again to come here. Out of respect for DH and all the emotionally upheaval I let her stay during the arrangements and services so she could be with all of her family during this hard time. I know that people all deal with this kind of tragedy in different ways but you could not tell that she had just lost her oldest sister. She is a manipulator of emotions and guilt trips everyone. Her younger sister was here the whole time trying to help in anyway shape or form so that her parents would not have to think of all the little details. She was amazing. She had emotionally breaks and made comments like she felt she was an only child now due to evil SD not being available to help (she was too busy getting her nails done, haircut to look exactly like her BM and running around). The services were beautiful as it should be for the beautiful soul that we were laying to rest. Evil SD made comments through the whole services mainly about the pictures she was presented in and laughing at others. She did not shed tears as the rest of us did not even as we layed her in her final resting place.

She was living with a family and left our house the day of the services (which to me was best, I was tired of her antics). It only last two days as she went to the family's home and stole many items and got into a physical altercation with the other family's daughter. Evil SD pressed legal charges against that family and they called me to come get all of evil SD belongings. Evil SD was with her BFF at the time, I did go get her things from the family and Evil SD called me in as stealing her belongings. I was given the opportunity to talk to the police and told them to come get it that it was still in my vehicle and that I had no intention of seeing her or talking to her. The police told me that she would be by for her belonging on her own time. She did not show for two days and just walked into my house like nothing happened. She has been in my house now ever since.

I have been biting my tongue now for the last few months, I know that my DH needs her for some reason. He has told me that he lost one child and he does not want to lose another. Where would she go? He would not make her homeless. Her grandparents have made an offer to her that they would help her if she signed a contract with them if it does not work out they will put her in a charity home to get counseling, parenting and schooling. She has not told DH about any of this and makes him feel guilty about having no where to go. If I make any suggestions regarding her, I am being unreasonable and bitchy. She is 24 for goodness sake. I am never spoken to about anything, such as her living here or if he takes my vehicle to take her places and pick her up. I know that this is a long story and there are so many details that I have missed but I am hoping that you get the gyst of what I am saying. She does not do anything to contribute to the household. She has no job, she uses things such as the computer and phone without asking, helps herself to all shower necessities, food or anything in the house for that matter without saying a word. She takes things from my daughter who is now 14 without saying a word and when my daughter or I call her on it she lies and it magically appears again in the next few days. I am at wits end. I am angry all the time, I hate coming home every day, my children hate being home, and we do not converse or act like she even exists (I know its childish but its easier than having the fight). I have tried to talk to DH as well as Evil SD and it is always turned around on me or my kids. I can not deal with the disrespect for us all and it seems that I am oversensitive now because I just found out that my dad's cancer has returned and it does not look too promising this time. I do not know if I am just being oversensitive and need to just keep my pace of ignoring and acting like she does not exist (even though I am made to feel like the worst person in the world because I make her feel unwanted) or if I should just make the decision to leave the man I love the most over evil SD.