hospital visit that bio mom could not handle...
my sd needed surgery, which was scheduled sooner than was originally anticipated. of course i planned to go down and visit with her,i am very involved in my sd's lives, although im invisible to their bm.Not to mention I wanted to be there for my h. I have been with my h for 4 years, married 2. . I attempted to make several different arrangements, they fell thru bc of work, etc. So in the end I decided to follow my husband (4 HRS.) and stay the first 2 nights (she would be in one week). Bm threw a fit that I was there and that "I was not family, and it was disgusting that I was there, yelled at me in the lobby and ended up fighting with my h, guilt tripping him for multiple reasons, as usual. Her husband, who is also a step parent came down along w her mom. Where as my husband was solo, aside from me and my d. It was tense, to say the least. and a pitiful excuse for being emotionally present for your child while they are undergoing surgery....to be raging at a step mom for being there to support and love her daughter....Im just losing faith here. i thought we were getting past this, and now its like a war is waging. why does she hate me so much....even though she puts on a solid act in public that she loves me. Just wait until the doors are closed and noone is around and she truns into a monster. cold hearted and vicious. the woman would lie, cheat and steal to save face. its disturbing and frustrating.
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Did your DH ask her WHY her
Did your DH ask her WHY her husband got to come but it was outrageous that you would be there? My SS BM does the same crap...I can't do this, that or the next but her boyfriend (not even husband) is there at everything making DH uncomfortable. I wouldn try to ignore her and keep supporting your DH and SD. Thats what is best for your family. They need to know you support them regardless of that lunatic!
hey thanks...this is my first
hey thanks...this is my first post on this website.i dont know why it took me so long to find somewhere to vent. Anyway, my DH tries to handle things, but it goes haywire bc BM is so manipulative and deceitful. She tried to say that we should have brought down her other daughter, even though she herself made arrangements for her to stay w cousins. I said I would have happily brought her, and she follows with "she did not want to be with you (screams)" I say thats fine, so what is the problem? She continues to say how this is such an emotional time, she is so stressed...etc, etc. I think it just came down to the fact that I was there, and her side of the family, including her husband hadnt gotten down there yet. She just cant handle that I have a relationship w her kids. But youre right, I wanted my SD to know I wanted to be there for her, and my DH too. It was just hurtful and petty, at a time that would normally bring family together....sad.
Ha HA!!! Thank u! I think im
Ha HA!!! Thank u! I think im gonna enjoy this website. this is just the support I need. Other people always seem to not want to get involved or take sides and its craziness that is going on. I'm gonna tell my DH to get that in quick txt for sure. I have been trying to get him to set more defined boundaries bc I cant stand it...She loves to suck him in to her bs until he flips and starts cursing,yelling, etc...then she tells him he has anger management issues....He needs to maintain control over his reactions and just draw the line, I guess me too.
I hope that your SD came
I hope that your SD came through surgery well and is recovering and also that SHE was at least glad to see you or is aware that you were there for her.
P.S. Quackers??? Love it!
My FSS's BM did similar
My FSS's BM did similar behavior when she first had to interact with me. Then, she got to see her son upset when I didn't go to something, and I got to deal with the angry 8 year-old because I didn't go. Now, if he asks me to go, and I can, I do. She doesn't want me in the truck when FDH picks him up and we have someplace to go right away. We figure that if she ever wanted to do any of the driving, we might consider it, but since FDH does all the driving, we aren't delaying our day by another half an hour to an hour. She also backed down when FDH reminded her that she lives with the last guy she cheated on him with and when she did any driving, he was always in the car. She doesn't necessarily hate you. She hates your position. FSS asked me today why his mom hates me so much. I reminded him she's seen me three times, all in front of him. I asked him if he ever saw us talk. He said no. So, she doesn't know me. She doesn't hate me. She wouldn't like anyone who was going to be a stepmom to him. It's the only thing I can repeat to myself that keeps me from having an opinion about her out loud in front of her. That, and I like FSS.