Hate is a strong word
So I am feeling really upset to know and hear that both my future step children HATE me. They tell their mother that. The little one who is 5 and a girl says she hates me because I'm mean. Her idea of me being mean is because I am the sole disciplinarian in the household. Before I came along, my fiance's kids were allowed to do whatever they wanted whenever they wanted. So they think I'm mean and hate me which makes them mean to me and my daughter which freakin sucks!! I love kids and always have and kids have never hated me before. I feel like a prisoner in the house because I hide from them.
Sigh.....
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That is exactly what my
That is exactly what my counselor said. (I've been going to help me deal with the blended family thing) My fiance is going to come to a session so we can talk about the co-parent thing.
My SD6 was telling BM I said
My SD6 was telling BM I said all kinds of stupid crap I didn't say because in her words "that's what she thought her mother wanted to hear". Its not hard for a child of that age to be convinced the way to get BMs babying is to say bad shit about the SM. Deff talk to DH about this and see if you can figure out if they actually don't like you and why or if its that maybe BM is jealous and coaching/conditioning the kids to say those things and think they feel that way. I asked SD straight out why she lied and said bad things about me to her mother. Then I asked did I really say those things. She said no. I said the next I find out you lie about me you will be grounded here for a day. (yes DH and I are on the same page when it comes to these things in our house for the most part). It hasn't happened since that I know of. Either that or BM just isn't bitching to us about it any more cuz she knows SD will get grounded...not sure. Either way anything SD says to BM about us she takes to heart so yay...
Oh no I asked my future SD5
Oh no I asked my future SD5 why she told her mother she hated me and she told me it's because I'm mean. Which I don't think I'm mean I just give them the rules that they have and have to yell all the time because they are out of control and don't listen.
I've always said I wasn't a
I've always said I wasn't a "real" parent until my (bio) kids told me (A)they hated me or (B)I was the meanest mom in the world. I never got
but I did get (B). Pretty normal.
However, a step-parent should probably never be the primary disciplinarian. Unless both bio parents are dead.
Your DF needs to address this role you've adopted/inherited/forced into/accepted. It's a recipe for disaster like Tog referenced.