I have only posted once on this blog, but always have read this site because of the different approaches and how everyone handles their "blended families". Over the past two years, there have been ups and downs with my SS and I have weathered the storm but things have gotten progressively worse and I feel like I am alone on an island and my support is minimal. I had a family member who I turned to quite often up to this point and they were able to help me as I moved along the "teen years" journey with my SS. I feel like the support has turned into resentment because I have voiced my concerns that my H's level of support for my concerns has been decreasing. Naturally this family has now become upset with him, so I don't try to discuss it anymore with this family member. I have been told now on multiple occasions by my H when issues arise with my SS that "he will handle it", "i'll take care of it", "just stay out of it", etc. Please keepp in mind based upon a previous post quite some time ago I have been active in his life.

Over the past year I have noticed a "bratty behavior" from my SS. Everyone leaves him alone because he does well in school and does not get in trouble, but he doesn't have any responsibilities outside of class...he does not participate in after school activities and getting him to assist with general chores and responsibilities usually turns into WW III at our house. The only time he will do things is when he wants something. And then if he doesn't get it....hell hath no fury! Basically he ass kisses till he gets what he wants and then once he has it....it's screw you. The latest episode involved a call from the BM. There is a certain item he has wanted for quite some time. He's been bugging me for about 6 months now. I have been putting him off...telling him to wait. It drives me absolutely crazy that he says nothing to my H but will drive me to insanity. So a few weeks ago...I sent him a text (he was at his BM home) asking him to fullfill a certain responsibility that he previously agreed to. His immediate response was "when am I getting "this item in question". I did not respond to the certain item question but referred back to his agreed upon responsibility. He continued to text me about this certain item and was not respectful at all. i did asked him several times politely (using please and thank you) to try to nuetralize the situation, but I would not respond to his questions about the "certain item".

He eventually fullfilled his task later that day and I thought that was the end of it. I didn't even say anything to my husband because I thought it was a non-issue. Boy...was I wrong. The following morning I get a call from my husband asking what the heck I was texting my SS. Of course the BM called my husband and was saying how I was disrespectful and mean and that I "promised" my SS he was getting this item on the day in question. I offered to show my husband the texts but he refused. So basically what happened since my SS did not get the item in question...he went and bitched to the WTP (BM)--sorry I am getting upset again lol. I of course was furious because my SS was disrespectful to me, but of course no one wants to see what he said to me via text. I spoke to my husband later that evening and I again offered the text messages to him, but he did not want to see them. My husband said he was going to take care of it and i explained what I had told my SS about the item in question. Ok - so a day or two goes by and in the meantime my stepson is obviously acting like a two year old and won't even speak to me..so I think oh well...he'll get over it. And then this weekend my husband starts bugging me about the "item in question" saying I promised SS this and that and I had not. (who the heck uses "promise". I don't even use that language) I exploded...I told him how can you let a 15 year old kid manipulate you. I said the only reason there was an issue with the texts was because my SS did not get the certain item on that day. I told him I was tired of my SS telling stories to get what he wants. Well at that point my H failed to tell me my SS was in the garage and heard the whole thing. My H did not even have the respect to question me at another time and just let me go off....so of course an argument ensued. I am at the end of my rope...no one will address my SS and call him out for his manipulation and games. Everyone plays into it. I have been told to stay out of things multiple times....and at this point...I feel like I have been slighted one to many times, because this is not the first time something like this has happened. I do love my H very much but I have felt the past few years this situation has escalated...I have also thrown out the threat twice now that if my SS doesn't get a job when he is old enough/show responsibility then he won't be driving on my dime! Any advice would be appreciated. I am beside myself because this situation has been brewing for a long time.