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Can my relationship with my SO work even if I move out?

klynn's picture

I'm beyond frustrated and stressed out living with my SO and his two kids that he has 50/50 custody of. There is so much drama created by BM and my SO doesn't seem to be able to control any of it. The kids have no rules at their BM's house and act like little animals in my home. I was previously married for 18 years and have an 18-year old son so I am a little more than set in my ways.

Looking for advice...

klynn's picture

I am looking for helpful advice on how to deal with BM with as little drama as possible. The BM in my life is bipolar and acts like a 12 year old girl. Really. Calls names - even such names as "4 eyes"...that should give you some idea as to the maturity level of this woman. In a 3 year period I have only engaged in conversation with her twice and both times it was incredibly horrible and a huge scene. I ignore her as much as possible, but it's very hard to ignore completely.

So tired of the drama...

klynn's picture

I'm worn out with how to handle my situation with BM. My SO sometimes has to stay out of town for work and if his kids are at our house that week, I take care of them. The last time we did this, BM caused a bunch of drama (of course she did). So, tonight my SO will be out of town and I figured we would handle it a different way to alleviate the drama. I told him to let BM know and give her the option. If she wanted the kids she could have them, if she didn't or couldn't I would do it. One would assume that this was the correct way to handle it. NOPE!

Anyone else ever feel like BM lives in your house???

klynn's picture

For some reason BM feels it's her right to question everything that goes on in our home. She questions SO's methods of parenting on a regular basis. For the record, this woman has been arrested for flipping out on people in public and at home. She is bipolar and has caused many scenes in public in front of her children. However, at any point she feels it's her business to tell my SO how he's not doing what he should be. An example is SS9's homework. Every day SO asks SS9 if he has homework, sometimes he does and sometimes he says he doesn't.

Do we really have to deal with this for the next 9 years??????

klynn's picture

OMG, I hate BM!!! She is such a bitch! My SO asked her to give us a 15 minute notice before showing up at our house and that sent her over the edge! Really?? Is that too much to ask for? She's shows up whenever she wants without any notification at all. I won't have that because she has been known to become physically violent with us and I do not want to run into her in my driveway...I don't believe that is too much to ask.

Ever just have one of those days where you feel like everything sucks??

klynn's picture

I know in the whole scheme of things in this world that I shouldn't be complaining, but I'm just bummed today. I have this melancholy feeling about everything today. The situation with my SO and his kids, our financial situation, I work in sales and of course - that's in the toilet right now with the economy. I just cannot seem to bring myself out of this funk today. **sigh**

How do I stop letting crazy BM annoy me?

klynn's picture

I have done everything I can to stop BM's crazy rants. I've stopped going to the skids events, I do not see her, I do not talk to her. I don't communicate with her at all. I never speak badly of her to her kids. If she's dropping the skids off or stopping by our house for ANY reason, I try to be inside so I don't have to see her. Apparently this is not enough. She has been asked and then "told" by my SO that she needs to let us know at least 15 minutes prior to her showing up at our house.

I may regret this, but who thinks I'm wrong?

klynn's picture

I have been with my SO for 3 years today, we have lived together for 1 1/2 years. He has 12 yr old daughter and 9 yr old son who live with us every other week. I have an 18 yr old son who lives with us 100%. My SO was married for about 7 yrs and his ex is bi-polar and causes us great grief (name callling, physical attacks, 20 calls in a night, talking about me to anyone she can, etc....). I was married for 18 years and have no contact with my ex (thankfully).

Does anyone else out there think that 50/50 custody is hard on the kids?

klynn's picture

I'm just wondering if I'm the only one that sees 50/50 custody as a bad thing on kids? I live w/my SO and he's got 12 yr old girl and 9 yr old boy (who I'm quite sure has Asberger's) and the custody was set a few years before I came into the picture. As a person who watches all of this play out, I really believe it would be in the kids' best interest for the 50/50 custody to cease. They are both involved in numerous activities and every single weekly "switch" many things are forgotten. Not to mention all of the things that get missed in their school lives because of this.

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