From my last posts, you can see the history. One of her last texts to me also stated, "Thank you for showing me what’s not for me A person who is for me will not sit up there and screenshot old messages between me and my ex and try to throw that shit up in every argument They will not make me choose between them and my son They will embrace that I’m a single mom They will not get overwhelmed for the littlest things We will be able to communicate healthy and not always have to fight  ! They will understand when battles need to be picked, and when something is not worth going back-and-forth aboutWe will understand how to love each other unconditionally And know when that person needs space, and when that person needs more of them Thank you for showing me what I want and what I need" 

this is what I want to say back: 

A person who’s for me won’t keep old pictures of their ex and his kids in their phone while telling me to get over my feelings — especially when that same ex erased every trace of you. And if I keep a screenshot from the past, it’s not to hold it over your head — it’s because I forgot it was even there. What I didn’t forget was how often I felt like I was competing with ghosts — from the ex who sent $400, $500 weekly in the beginning of our relationship, to the guy u had an abortion with right before we met, to the man with kids you once wanted to bring back into our lives. A person who’s for me wouldn’t have me constantly tugging with history that never seemed to stay in the past. So I kept a screenshot, it was my reminder of one of my first red flags... that I forgot we even there until the red flag pops up again. 

If I date a single mom again, she’ll understand that love and parenting can exist side by side but not so entwined there’s no room for partnership. She won’t hear my request for privacy as me ‘making her choose.’ She’ll hear it for what it is: a plea for balance. She’ll love me enough to make space for my needs, not weaponize them as weaknesses.

She’ll never call me needy, weak, or insecure for needing reassurance especially not when I’ve spent a lifetime being strong for myself. She won’t treat my mental health like it’s my failure. I was never weak because I said no I was taking care of me when you failed to be considerate. She’ll be someone who helps me heal, not someone I have to heal from.

The right person for me won’t call my vulnerability an argument, or my expression of emotion a threat. She’ll know that love isn’t just being there it’s being present, gentle, and intentional.

You say you want unconditional love but real love has conditions. Conditions like kindness. Like listening. Like choosing each other every day, even when it’s hard. Unconditional love without respect is not love it’s survival and that's all I been doing with you unconditionally loving you both and surviving and I am tired. 

i wanted to be seen. To be safe. To be loved in a way that didn’t require me to disappear or walk on egg shells. And that shouldn’t make me the villain.

So thank you, too for showing me what’s not for me.Because what I want, I deserve. And next time, I’ll make sure I receive it. 
 

def won't send because I already blocked and just 1 day into no contact but MY GOD I WISH I COULD HAVE responded to this text before I blocked! I needed to say something because throughout our entire relationship I ALWAYS ACCEPTED I COME SECOND!!! I never asked to put before her son and never did I ever ask her to do that when I asked for space she just perceived it that way herself because they are enmeshed codependent mess