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Moving out

JustMe604's picture

Submitted by JustMe604 on Tue, 08/11/2020 - 2:29pm

My partner and I have come to an agreement that me moving out would be best. We arent arent breaking up, we just need our own space. We have lived together for almost 5yrs and yeah...im sad about it. Im moving out because of her son. I've done my best to support them both emotionally and financially but my patience has run out. My partner and I have fought continuosly about him and his behaviour. We made rules and made agreements together but nothing has followed through. I want to talk to him about me moving out but my partner doesnt want me to make him feel bad and let him know he is the reason. The thing is, he's not a kid, hes 19. He should know the reason. He needs to know his behaviour is unacceptable and that it has once again impacted another  human beings life. 

Comments

BethAnne's picture

Submitted by BethAnne on Tue, 08/11/2020 - 3:39pm

Good for you. Enjoy your new peace in your own place. Once you move out hopefully you can forget about her son. 

advice.only2's picture

Submitted by advice.only2 on Tue, 08/11/2020 - 3:48pm

I would look into some sort of support group or therapy that can also help you process how to deal with an enabler. Just because you are moving out I don't think she will just let you walk away. I foresee her pulling you back into her drama whether it be for money or for you to help pick up/clean up/help out with SS.

susanm's picture

Submitted by susanm on Tue, 08/11/2020 - 5:02pm

If you want to continue dating this person then that is one thing but any sort of "committed" relationship would be out the window as far as I was concerned.  Each of you would be free agents with the ability to do anything you like and see anyone that you like in any capacity that you choose.  And any idea of joint finances or "assistance" beyond that which I would provide to a friend on an occasional basis would also be out the window.  She forfeited that when she chose you to move out rather than baby boy!

shamds's picture

Submitted by shamds on Tue, 08/11/2020 - 9:21pm

Any relationship with her?

she clearly has prioritized her bum of a son over you... 

even if you told him you were moving out because of his behaviour, do you think he would actually care?? Most of these effed up skids want to break up their parents marriages, they take pride in their parents misery and keeping them all to themselves 

i always told my husband that if he always caved in to stepbullshi*, one day don’t be surprised when you are served with divorce papers because normal sane people only take so much crap before we see it aint worth the struggle being in this relationship or marriage. Therecomes a point where the issues and excuses go beyuo d ridiculous and stupidity 

Chelseybychelsey's picture

Submitted by Chelseybychelsey on Tue, 08/11/2020 - 9:23pm

I'm sorry but you're making the right decision.

A clean break would be ideal she's not going to change her ways so I don't see where the relationship has potential.

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

Submitted by Wicked stepmo. on Wed, 05/19/2021 - 5:22am

It sounds like you made a sound decision. Good for you. Unfortunately her relationship with SS will likely never change.