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Torn.

just.his.wife's picture

BM is potentially eligable for early release. She was sentenced to a year in jail which she started in early May 2013.

Our local jails are stuffed. Drug dealers, hookers, murder, rape, child abuse etc etc. So since her crime was non violent, she is eligible for a 1/1. For every day of good behavior a day is removed from her sentence, so she would do 6 months in jail, the remaining six months would be 'tacked on' to whatever probation she has.

I got home from work last night and there is a form letter telling me about all of this: I still have an RO against BM, so a potential early release, heck any release the state notifies me of, previously it was by phone.

Attached to the letter is a form for the 'victims statement' I can fill it out stating I strongly oppose her getting out early (not that the state will give a $hit of what I think, if they need room in the jail they will let her out not matter how eloquently I plead a case), fill it out that I am in agreeance with an early release (which Might... maybe be taken into consideration- still the govt- and they aren't known for listening to the people).

Or I can ignore it. Ignoring it apparently means I am neither for or against her early relase.

My first thought was ignore. Let the state figure it out.

Then I did start feeling a bit wishy washy.
The kids have seen her once since she went to Jail. I paid for a supervised visit for them to go see her.

While in jail we know she has taken all of the classes that the judge required of her, so that she could begin having visitation back with the kids. She has gone beyond the classes required, began counseling on her own, did send me a letter of apology (obvious 12 step amends letter) and she has been as good of a mom as she can be behind bars.

When we had trouble getting sd16 into counseling, she issued a power of attorney to ME so the child could get the help she needed. She had to know that kid was going to go into the counselor and vomit everything that has happened over the last year and a half... none of which puts BM in a good light... but despite that BM made sure the kid could go.

She cant support her kids while in jail. And she is racking up one hell of an arrearage on her CS due to not being able to work while locked up. Teenagers are frigging expensive, if she were out, she could pay SOMETHING towards them... while she works her way back to having steady visitation.

Then I think back to what a vile frigging bi+ch she has been for nearly 6 years and I want to write a letter stating hell no, keep her in full time!

Bleh.
Advice ladies and gents?
Or just vote

For early release
Against early release
or
Ignore.

Comments

simifan's picture

No matter what she's done to improve her behavior I think the one thing you learn at Steptalk is BMs mean drama. While I hope she has truly changed her behavior at best it still means aggregation for you. I couldn't willingly ask for that to come sooner.

I vote ignore.

queenofthedamned's picture

Personally, I'd ignore it. A few months of nicey nice behavior after what she put you through just wouldn't be enough for me to support an early release.

overworkedmom's picture

I vote for Ignore too.

There is always drama when it comes to BM's, but hopefully she realizes that you have stepped up when she didn't/couldn't get her life together. Hopefully she appreciates that you care for her kids. Once my SS's BM got out and sober she actually thanked me and told me that I was the only real parent SS has ever had and that she is so grateful for me. We have actually had a pretty good relationship since then.

On the plus side if she does start getting visitation and a job, that means a break for you in 2 levels!

zerostepdrama's picture

Remember she came into your house....went through your things....had your utilties shut off....caused drama at your work (thankfully you have a good boss). You dont owe this woman anything.

Yes she may be able to help financially with the kids, but think long term. Will she end up costing you more money or time down the road?

I would just ignore the letter.

Elizabeth's picture

I'd say ignore, unless you fear for your life/safety when she gets out OR the crime she is in there for was directly against you.