I wished i had listened to my mother when she told me that child was trouble. i wish id payed attention to all the fits and the cry and the disobedience. but the love i felt for my dh was so great it didn't matter? where did all that love go? I feel sick all the time. I don't want to go home. we sit down for a family dinner and i don't want to be there becuase i don't want to be around her. i bite my tounge i do it. mainly for my sons sake. Then the bomb hits im upset and going for a drive and take my 5 year old with me and he says "why don't you pack your bags and go away for a really long time so that way my sissy will be happy" i cried and said son that won't make sissy happy every one has choices to make good or bad. and as long as bad choices are made someone will be in trouble. i don't make your sissys choices. she does." he says "i think you should at least go for a couple of days" my family is falling apart. and i love dh but im not sure love will be enough for another 5 years of this. Damn u BM for leaving your child and only looking back 2x to cause trouble. How can i love someone so much and feel so much hatred for their child? am i really that shallow? is this love even enough?