Question for those that do not co-mingle funds..
We have been married for a little over two years now and have no combined finances except a joint savings that we don't really use much. DH wants to meet at the bank to put me on his checking account. I asked why and he said he had been wanting to for awhile now. I will go do it, but I do not want him on mine. Am I wrong?
Wills and pre-nups really protect everything, I don't see a reason to do this other than to make it easier if one of us dies. Having already been there with my first husband. I was on his and all I did was close it out when he died. Easy to do since I was on the account and he had no will and no assets. So I know there is a convenience factor there for me doing this. I just don't want to do it for him on my account. I have big time trust issues since SD created so much havoc in my marriage and we are still recovering. I still own my house and won't give it up just in case. We have been together for 6 years and I am still not able to say that this marriage is solid.
Makes me angry that something that should come easy for me to do with him, isn't because of BM and SD and all their drama. Because I am sure one of these days that girl will be back and I will be moving out. I am curious if any of you that have the separate finances have your spouse on your checking account.
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I never had any joint
I never had any joint accounts in my first marriage, not in my current marriage. Am not sure what you mean by have your spouse on your checking account - presumably he can sign my cheques? In that case no, he cannot! We both like to know where each of us is, financially - nothing wrong with that. I personally think its more prudent to keep finances separate - not really a trust issue since I trust my DH completely - I don't see that he should be upset by this - its just a preference.
If you don't want to then
If you don't want to then don't. If your accounts are covered (via listing a beneficiary or something else) then leave it alone.
For whatever reason he wants you on his account. It is easier if something happens. You and I both know this. My late husband and I were on each others accounts but they were still our own. Neither of us did anything with the others' accounts. Since your new husband has other people in his life that can be financially linked to him, I think you are fine in saying no.
Thanks for the replies. He
Thanks for the replies. He is just putting me on the account. I do not want this at all. He is very responsible and has a lot of liquid assets, so that is not the issue. I just don't want him on my checking account at all.
I didn't do it in my first marriage, because he was so irresponsible with money. I am not a SAHM. I own my own company and that is why the pre-nup is so tight. He has no rights to my company's income. We both had to disclose debt and assets to write the pre-nup and we are very upfront with each other on that. He has shown me everything. I am not on the title of this house and he is not on mine. Everything really is separate. I write him a check for half of the bills every month for this house, minus any maintenance and mortgage.
I am feeling better about my decision not to do it on mine. I will put my signature on his account, but ask not to be on the checks.
What if he just put you as a
What if he just put you as a beneficiary or power of attorney instead?
That is what I think. I will
That is what I think. I will mention that to him. I just want to make sure that if he dies, I can deal with the account and pay what needs to be paid from it and then close it after everything is settled. Can you tell I have done that before? How sad, that I only think in terms of him dying...
Hey, I've been there too. Its
Hey, I've been there too. Its exactly how I think. SO and I aren't married, I just told him as long as we aren't, I hope he has someone down for beneficiaries on all his accounts and his insurance is in order. I won't be able to touch a thing, except the joint account I pay bills from. This will be interesting to see since skids will get everything (not the house, that's in my name.)
I'm glad this helped.
NEVER! NO joint holdings
NEVER! NO joint holdings whatsoever.
I'll tell you something that happened to me when I was all of 17 years old.
Stupidly I was engaged to be married (this particular cult I was raised in believed in marrying young, etc. etc.)
I went to get a chequing account and the lady at the front counter asked (after I told her I was getting married)
"Do you want this account to be a JOINT account?"
I then looked up behind the woman who was waiting on me and I saw another woman behind her making direct SERIOUS eye contact with me. She was slowly shaking her head "no" from side to side.
Fortunately I said "NO." That of course, did not stop 1st hubby from forging my signature (my siggie now looks like a Dr's because of those incidents) and stealing my paycheque later on in our brief marriage.
He decided to quit his fairly lucrative job shortly after the ring went on my finger and live OFF of me!!
Another very smart, strong woman told me NEVER to own property jointly. Not even if you are married. Something I've held to from day one!!
Our accounts are as follows:
Our accounts are as follows: I am on HIS checking account but he is NOT on mine. Our savings account is in MY NAME ONLY. So basically, I can move money around between ALL the accounts, but he can't. It works well. I pay all the bills out of BOTH of our checking accounts and leave him his weekly spending money untouched. It works for us this way and he has never had an issue with it.
We keep separate finances,
We keep separate finances, but we are both signers on each other's accounts. It turned out to be really convenient when an emergency expense came up that I would normally cover at a time when his account was a little low. I was at work, but he was able to go get my money to cover the expense.
It's been purely a convenience issue. But, the marriage is super stable, and we only have shared access to cash checking accounts, not any credit accounts or savings. If either of us truly wanted to screw the other over we'd make out with under 1k.
We have the joint savings
We have the joint savings account and only use it to save for a particular thing. It started for the wedding and we just now use it for very large purchases like furniture and vacations. But, the major accounts and 401K and IRA's we have what we came in with and have not changed anything. My reasoning was that that was my money and his was his. If I close a deal and have significant imcome increase as in the past, I wanted to make sure that I had it if something happened.
My decision is just to do it on his checking account and if he asks on my checking. If he doesn't, I won't. I understand concern about credit ratings but both of us have excellent credit and work very hard to protect it.
Since I don't keep much in my checking, if something happened, there's not enough in there to worry about. He pays all his bills out of his and I just write a check to cover my half. It is nice to hear that so many women are financially independent of their spouses.
Get your DH to put you on
Get your DH to put you on whatever he wants as POD or ITF or ATF / whatever the acronym is there . My DH and I had & I kept it a joint savings ( for vacations and emergencies) and a joint checking (to pay bills. ) The rest we kept separate and when he died, it came to me. We had our own personal ( pre marriage and earned $$ Separate, POD to the other. His all went in the bill paying account) . If you don't want him on money you came to the marriage with ? Don't add him. If that's an issue with him ( that you don't want reciprocal) Don't go on his. However, then when one of you is gone, it's into an estate account. They are a PITA. Estates can be challenged/ more drama.