Well, yesterday she called DH at work and wanted to discuss the agreement that the lawyers waited so long to finalize. DH refused to give her SS13 for the holiday. Said she could have him on Friday at 6 for her standard visitation. She didn't understand. He explained several things about why SS didn't want to be with her yet again. She always deflects it when we tell her what bothers SS. DH explained all of the following things as new problems:

SS13 woke up alone in a strange hotel room while she went off to run a race. He mentioned it to DH twice and to me twice that he didn't like it again. This is the 2nd Time.

SS13 was taken out of state 2 times in the last month. No permission from DH.

He was using guns and we have no idea of any precautions taken.

He was offered Chewing tobacco.

He was told to throw a six pack in the fire to watch it explode.

The last two DH didn't tell me about because he just heard that from SS the other night while working on Science Fair project. Also, we weren't speaking because of the situation already.

She denied everything again. Told DH that SS must be lying.

DH chose than to tell her and said only because you called, there are some other situations that have been brought to his attention about SD15. Needless to say, other than what I knew about the golf cart accident the other night, there have been other things that friends have called him about and he hasn't told me. I have heard countless things and haven't told him, because I am evil and I hate her if I do. So I have stopped...

Apparently, the issues he had were that SD was in a car with some friends, which is illegal here to have that many unless your 18. You can only have one after 6 months and then 2 after the 2nd 6 months. While in the car, they cut off a friends daughter and that she was so upset she went home crying and hasn't wanted to drive. Well apparently she knows it was her, because after they were driving away, SD15 stuck her head out of the car and yelled hello to the girl.

Next issue, DH driving home from work sees a car stopped in the middle of the road with the doors open. SD is yelling outside the car at another car on the cross street. He comes up behind and they yell and run back into the car laughing and run off.

Add the golf cart accident and the lying to the dad about hitting a squirrel and laughing that kid's father believed her.

Well he only got to say these things to her because she got quiet and then hung up. She denied everything and continues to believe that SS is making it up.

DH said he thought she was crying and that was why she got off the phone. This woman is in such denial. She never believes that any of this is because of her actions. DH asked me to understand and continue to let him play his cards when he is ready, not when I am upset. He did say everything to her, that upset me and it was my verbage that was used. So I should be happy that she was told she can't do those things. She says it is not going out of state since it is just over the state line. She always has an excuse for what upsets us or SS.

It should not come to this, she should not be losing her son and DH shouldn't have lost his daughter. But, they did all because BM wanted to cut DH out of SD's life and take it to court. He begged her not to start this process and she wouldn't listen. Look where we are now...

DH has plans for the next call and the call after that. He is planning on telling her that it may be better that she just see SS during the day since he is so uncomfortable at her house now. As he brings up other things that we know about SD. He has a list. A long list and she has only gotten the tip of this list. Ironically the last list was exhausted with mediation and the lawyers and SD has done so much that in three months there is already another list...

SS's list is down again but, he still never mentioned the grades coming back up to A's and B's since he is no longer with her. Or the fact that he is having to take snacks from our house in his pocket for her weekend for fear of starving. Or that she is working or sleeping when he is there and SD is working on his car. So SS is alone the whole time watching TV. If she is going to do that anyway, why make him come? So that is the next go around.

DH thinks that call is for New Years Eve and he is planning on refusing her. We have made plans for ourselves and SS is going to hang at his Best Friends house which is what he wants. She is not getting that holiday either. We never have him for that day either...
Besides, SS would rather stay here in his house rather than go with her.

As this continues and SD has progressed from Golf Cart Drinking and Driving and beating mailboxes and running people down with the golf cart, we have progressed to automobiles. DH is sure she is going to have an accident. I told him he is going to end bailing her out of jail. He says hell no, she can stay there. She is out of control. Thankfully he sees that and hopefully it stays that way.

Way to parent again BM!!!