Advice please??

:? Hi all....I have just joined here today in the hope I will find some support from others who are in a similar situation to mine. I have been with my husband for five years and have a 16 month old son with him. 6 months ago his son (aged 9) and daughter (aged from previous relationship came to live with us full time. These children had lived with their mother prior and within this time she was very neglectful and couldn't financially support them due to her drug habit and lack of stability. A VERY Long story short, I now have been slowly getting used to this new family dynamic of ours and have had many mixed emotions about it all. Basically I just need to vent and am in desperate need for understanding from others who know what I'm going through. :?

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We are all here for you and

We are all here for you and know how difficult these situations can be. I think it's best to decide how much of a role in their life you want to play. Is their mother involved in their life. What time of arrangments for visitation have been made?

There are alot of great women on here and we ALL will help you get through this. Welcome to the Clan and glad you joined.

God Bless you and your newely extended family.

Thanks it's really nice to be

Thanks it's really nice to be welcomed to an understanding community, I've tried to find support groups within the area I live in and gotten nowhere... This is a start I suppose.

Hi thanks for relplying! All

Hi thanks for relplying! All the issues u raised I feel have been sensibly dealt with. My husband is a great guy with a huge heart unfortunately due to major work commitments he isn't the one at home with them 90% of the time it's me,which I can accept because he is the main breadwinner and quite honestly I'm happy to do what I can to take care of the kids as I'm a stay at home mum with my own son anyway. The problem I'm having atm is that everything is fine when they're happy but after a week or so of being here one of them always starts to play up and it gets worse when we/my husband tries to discipline..my step daughter can be very lazy (I know she's only which makes it hard to get her to complete her chores (we have a list of household duties they are expected to do... Nothing big just little jobs). What makes things worse is that when one of them gets like this they beg and beg to speak to their mum and see her on the weekend which drives me crazy because they come back different kids after they see her. ..i dunno It just upsets me because I'm doing her job and Im the bad guy. It makes me so angry that they're so young they can't see it. Sorry this was so long I'm just so lost, I wish I cared less cause then it wouldn't affect me.

You will never be able to

You will never be able to change the fact that the kids come back different when they are at their mothers. The only thing you can do is set rules and make it known what they are and they have consequences as well. Stick to them and they will eventually be able to learn the difference. Even though the kids may ask for their mother all the time just know that they are also asking for you when they are at her house as well. It's just what kids do. Kids also will do or say what the they think the other parent wants to hear. Stay strong and you have us for supoort.

Good advice daskra.. I will

Good advice daskra.. I will try to remember that.. It's just hard to believe when they've given me silent treatment since they came back from their mums

Welcome Jona, This is a

Welcome Jona,

This is a great place for support. The folks here are good listeners and have often experienced similar experiences and feelings, and can offer excellent insight, empathy, advice and general support. I am new to being a step, and am so relieved to have found such supportive people. Enjoy this great site!

Haha agreed!

Thanks for the warm welcome

Thanks for the warm welcome guys 

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