SD23 is planning a big blowout birthday party for her soon to be 1 yr old daughter with all the bells & whistles, renting a hall, etc., etc. She’s already informed DH of the date (not on the child’s actual birthday) and expects us to be there. To be totally blunt & honest, I don’t want to go for several reasons. The number one reason being is (surprise!) BM will probably be there along with all of her side of the family. Also SD23’s DH and his family don’t like some of SD23’s family (thanks to both of them trashing us especially me) and no one ever speaks to each other when we do happen to see them.

Personally, I think that doing a big birthday bash for a 1 yr old child is ridicules – it’s a thinly veiled gift request. Although I fully intend on getting a couple of really nice gifts for the kid, I just don’t want to go sit at some hall all afternoon with a bunch of people who treat me like crap. If DH wants to go, that’s fine, but he needs to go alone.

Here’s my dilemma – DH & I have planned a really great Thanksgiving trip; it’s a combo T’giving get-a-way and DH’s birthday present – a fishing trip. SD23’s party is the weekend before we are leaving and I’m afraid if I don’t go to the party, DH will get really pissy with me and ruin our trip. I tried talking to DH last night when he found out about the party. I told him I couldn’t stomach dealing with BM and SD23’s in-laws due to all the crap that’s gone on in the past and I really didn’t want to attend the party but I thought he should go if he wanted to. His response was he really wished I would go, who would protect him from BM (joking) but I could tell by his tone & attitude he wasn’t happy. Also this is the first T’giving we’re not going to my in-laws – no one knows about our trip yet – he hasn’t told his parents as of yet.

I should mention we rarely see this grandchild unless we trek up to their house. SD23 never stops by or calls unless she wants something.

Ok…any thoughts or suggestions on how to handle this better?