Last post update
To recap the party was fine be it all very uncomfortable. I know what I got myself into with DH but the first two years we all were very separate for birthdays and everything. The only thing that brought us together was school and sports which is of course understandable and fine. However last year, 2 months before I became pregnant I asked if he wanted a big happy family w her her husband and her parents, in laws etc or would he have boundaries and keep it kind and cordial. He said boundaries, kind and cordial. Ok fast forward at the party he is fist bumping his ex, all over her new husband and his dad, they want to start hanging out, doing things together so I told him he’s blurring lines, there are no boundaries and I now look like the jerk who doesn’t want to get along because even though I’m nice I’ve made a clear line. DH refuses he wants to be friends build cars, go out and hang out with his exs husband and tells me if I’m uncomfortable then don’t go. So I said I can’t live like this you don’t get to have your ex, her husband and her fam and then have our son and me when you come home. I’m not making him pick between us and his first two kids I love them, but he does need to pick between us or her fam. His choice wasn’t us, so he’s upset because he says now he looses another child and I said all because you need her husband more than us. Has anyone else had a similar situation. I’m not asking for him to cut ties I asked for healthy boundaries because his ex wants us to all be besties and I’m just very uncomfortable around her she’s passive aggressive always talks about their past and it’s just uncomfortable being around a woman your DH built a life with, slept with and loved.
- Jmariel8's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Nope. You are correct. My
Nope. You are correct. My HCBM wanted to be friends too. I'm like WTF?? No. Divorce doesn't work that way. The marriage didn't work out for some reason, and both have moved on looks like. It's disrespectful to the new spouse to keep hanging onto the past. If those people are so wonderful, why divorce in the first place? He sounds like a cake eater. You were right to draw the line. I might even go online , find your state's child support calculator and show him how much it would cost him if you two divorced. Show him a custody split of 50/50 with you. Make him see the reality of how complicated his life becomes because he has his priorities messed up. In wedding vows, there is usually a line about forsaking others. That doesn't me he gets to forget the skids but it does mean that he chose/vowed to put you first as his spouse. He's not doing that. No wonder you frustrated!
He should be more fearful of pissing you off then offending the ex and her crew.
My hinky meter is off the
My hinky meter is off the scale. Why do these two divorced people want to spend all their time together? Why did they get divorced in the first place? Are you sure the new husband is is happy about all this as your DH seems to think he is? It might just be a matter of time before he gets sick of his wife's ex hanging around ... Or are they already having threesomes and are considering bringing you into it too?
I'm with you. I put a stop to
I'm with you. I put a stop to DH'S "joint" anything with BM during the first few months of our relationship. Had he backslid on that, I wouldn't have married him. If he were to change his mind on that today, I'd be gone by tonight. He knows that, too, and knows that I have the means to do it. (Actually, he'd be gone, because the house is mine).
I don't understand why having a relationship with BM's husband and family is so important that he'd risk HIS wife and family over it. Surely he can find another male friend to hang out with. Boundaries, DuH, boundaries!
They both still have feelings for each other
That the on,y reason for the dog and pony show. They divorce. What means NO happy family. That became unhappy in the divorce. No hanging out, actually no comumacation with each except about the kids. Short and sweet. Drop off time X. Ect. One or two a week. CO should spell out everything else
I would never hang with the ex. If you want to hang out with the ex that much get back together
No suprise here. But you married an idiot.
smh