As I have stated in a previous blog, my SD3’s BM has told her that two additional friends of hers should be referred to as her other step moms. At first I thought this very odd, but then I thought…whatever. Background: BM is heavily into roller derby, has two roller derby wives (weird) and now BM wants SD3 to call them step mom.

This a.m. I was getting SD3 ready for the day and she was telling me about a dream she had….and her step moms were in it. I said nicely: You don’t have other step moms honey, they are your momma’s good friends. SD3 FREAKED out….my mom said they are and they are….I have them as my step moms…they are my two other step moms…..I walked away, I didn’t want to upset her by saying: Your mom’s a freaking loser and a liar.

And then it hit me. It hurt my feelings (you are probably thinking: how dumb, who cares)…but the reason it hurt is that I feel sort of outside of things in my family dynamic (between the skids, BMs and whatever) and this just solidifies it – they think step moms are no big deal, they can be anyone, so who the F cares. The BM has NO IDEA what it is like to be a step mom…to take care of someone else’s child because you love the one parent. To provide, bath, cook, clean, care for and be involved in a child that is not yours and get. And it made me mad. It is not easy to be a step parent. It is not all that rewarding. It is not all that accommodating. It is hard. It is what I do because I love my DH. DH told me not to focus on those things…to focus on our life with the girls and what we can do, which I get…but I often wonder if he could handle being a step parent if the shoe was on the other foot and I had kids….oh well. I don’t have any children of my own. We are trying to get pregnant, but no luck yet.

I wish more people got it. I wish more people knew that blended families can be tough. That I am not trying to replace these children’s mom, but damn it, show me some respect and stop playing games with your child’s head. You should be glad your child is being cared for by someone with good intentions and a good heart….UGH! I am annoyed BEYOND belief and saying nothing and being the bigger person sucks sometimes.