I am a little annoyed with my SD11’s BM. I live in a fairly small community and everybody seems to know everybody…I have a mutual friend with BM, no big deal, we actually have several mutual acquaintances. I am having dinner with a very good friend of mine and she mentions running into my mutual friend – they work together- and that this mutual friend proceeds to go into a whole speech about how BM is a super nice person. She is such a great mom and she is so wonderful. She mentions that she doesn’t understand why I don’t like BM and that if I gave her a chance I would see how awesome she is. She says my DH’s family loves her and they are all still close. She just goes on and on…I think digging for information on how I feel about BM, but thankfully, my friend does not comment or even encourage this weird speech…she just says that she doesn’t know anything about how I feel about BM and that she believes her when she says BM is nice. This mutual friend then goes on to tell my close gal pal, that the reason BM and my DH divorced is because he was cheating on her with a younger woman…not true, not even remotely true and kind of a low blow and rude thing to spread around. It pissed me off. It is not right to make false accusations about someone…not okay. BM has even told me that the reason they split is that they were better off being friends..she then proceeded to sleep with her best friend’s hubby and now lives with him..… and they are active in the ‘swinging couples’ scene…I don’t judge..whatever – not my problem.

This whole “I don’t like the BM” started when I began to put up some very needed boundaries with BM. I was never mean, rude or disrespectful, I just decided that BM did not need to be involved in my life – she can be as involved with my husband in how they raise their daughter, but she does not need to be in my personal business. She is very nosey and just rude. She has a limited understanding of personal privacy and keeping out of business that doesn’t involve her. She is obsessed with being liked and is very fake. I just don’t want to socially hang out with her, which I don’t think is weird. She wanted to be my BFF and hang out – but in all honesty, she is not someone I would be friends with given a different situation. Just not my “tupe”. Things we (my Dh and I) have done are minimal…we have made it clear to her that she cannot just walk in our house whenever she wants, she cannot just interfere in our marriage (she would comment on it to DH), etc. My DH has another daughter from a different previous relationship (SD3) and she has become very close with BM2…fine, I don’t care…it’s weird, but whatever. She often watches SD3 and brags about how she is a second parent to her…weird. Again, my DH and I have said, it’s nice you are watching her so the girls can be together more often than just at our house, but why so public about your involvement (she posts pics to FB with titles like: “Sisters eating a muffin!” Yes, trivial things like that) and vocal about your friendship with BM2…to which she begins to cry and gets defensive.…she then says I am insecure and jealous…I am none of those things, I just want some privacy lady…I even deleted her from my Facebook site, so she couldn’t nose around in my business– I felt about 10 years old…man, I want her to go away, but she obviously isn’t….I just needed to vent. Thanks 