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stepdaughter drama

jkat's picture

Submitted by jkat on Thu, 05/27/2010 - 3:28pm

I have a 18 year old stepdaughter living at home with her baby as well as her sister who is 17 and our baby who is 16 months. The 18 year old has recently split with her baby's daddy and is on to a new guy. Since she is split with the daddy she has moved back in with her baby to our house. Now she wants to play house with the new guy. We have told all the girls that there will be no boyfriends over while we are not home but behind our back she is having BF over every day to play house. They both barely work at a "restaurant", a dive. He is 28 and has nothing to show for it but they are enjoying the comforts of our home while we are gone. Noone pays towards the house expenses or even assists in keeping the house clean. I am SICK of it! I feel like I am constantly at war with my husband over this because he hates to upset the girl but enough is enough. HELP! me before I go crazy. Am I right?

Comments

glynne's picture

Submitted by glynne on Thu, 05/27/2010 - 3:36pm

Agree, Gia.

SD is DH's responsiblity. Boycott - do not clean up, shop for, do laundry etc for SD - let DH do it. He may experience an epiphany! Smile

starfish's picture

Submitted by starfish on Thu, 05/27/2010 - 3:37pm

where's bm?? how the fuck did sd & sd's baby end up at your house to begin with?

i would make the living environment for sd18 so miserable that she would be begging to get out.... why don't she move in with her loser next baby daddy?

lastchance's picture

Submitted by lastchance on Thu, 05/27/2010 - 3:39pm

My mom did this to my brother while he was still living at home (lived with her until he was 23 and married)...

He was a slob and rarely, if ever, washed his own dishes. My mom bought a plastic tub and put all of the dirty dishes that he used into them and then stuck them in his room. Same with any shoes, clothes, etc that were left out.

Eventually my brother got fed up with the mess in HIS room because everything started to stink really bad and he cleaned it up. My mom didn't have to so she won.

Maybe you can start just hucking all of the SD's things that they leave out into their room(s) including dirty dishes, diapers, baby things, etc. At least the rest of the house would be clean that way!

Gia's picture

Submitted by Gia on Thu, 05/27/2010 - 3:40pm

You would think that after she has a baby out of wedlock, and is welcomed in your house, she would mature a lil' bit. She should be grateful ENOUGH to at least follow house rules.

jkat's picture

Submitted by jkat on Thu, 05/27/2010 - 3:48pm

yeah well, BM is so busy being a friend she's never been a mother in any way. We've had the kids from the break up about 8 years now. BM is too busy with her own life and BF to be concerned about her own kids and how they are living. Unfortunately SD 18 is showing every sign of being JUST LIKE BM. Even having the BFs at the house.
As for gratitude, neither have ever shown a bit of gratitude for anything done for them or bought for them. I have quit purchasing items I think they might like for that very reason.
I'm just wondering how I can keep a caring, enriched relationship with the BF, my husband, in the wake of the constant discord in the house. And I really do not want our baby in the middle of all of this either.

buttercookie's picture

Submitted by buttercookie on Thu, 05/27/2010 - 3:50pm

I'd make her start looking for a place to stay and public aid. There is no reason as an adult she should be creating this drama in your life and affecting your kids.

stepmom2one's picture

Submitted by stepmom2one on Thu, 05/27/2010 - 5:44pm

I agree. I would take her down to the public aid office or call the low income housing for your area.

She would be much happier on her own anyway.

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Thu, 05/27/2010 - 10:01pm

Do not shop or cook for anyone but you and your bio-kids if you have any...clean only your room and bathroom...or tell DH she either shapes up or you're out....