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Help me let go of the anger

Jcksjj's picture

I'm over the idea of the inlaws being a part of the kids' lives. I especially don't want SIL ever around them. However, I'm really having trouble letting go of the anger of the injustices towards all of us. Me for being falsely accused of things, DH for the same and for them instantly dismissing anything he tries to explain. The kids of course did absolutely nothing to deserve being treated as second class. 

Obviously I can't take a frying pan to SILs face like I'd like to. Going off about what an absolute garbage idiotic person she is probably wouldn't be good either. So how do I release the anger for my own wellbeing?

On a side note - I feel like we need to give SD our side and tell her the truth as much as possible about what happened. Normally we'd keep her out of it, but she's already been put in the middle of it by them and I think she needs our side as well. 

Comments

lieutenant_dad's picture

Anger release is a tough one. I personally like aggressive exercise - running, dancing, weight training at my upper limits. Anything that helps get all the pent up energy out of my system. 

I also have a few people in my life that I can vent honestly to and don't have to mince words with. That helps quite a bit as I try to maintain civility around the boys.

It gets easier. Once you realize they're useless and mentally lower the bar for their behavior, you stop being surprised and hurt by it. It also helped me a lot to reframe how I thought about people. For example, calling BM "Eternal Teenager" isn't just a nickname; it's a state of mind. Remembering she will act like a teenager means I expect her to act like a teenager. I'd rather be surprised when she acts like an adult than disappointed every time she's not. The reframing helped a whole lot for me. Come up with an accurate nickname for your in-laws that reminds you what to expect from them and see if that helps.

Jcksjj's picture

Hmm...nicknames. Anyone thats read my blogs want to throw out some ideas? Right now all I have for BM is a nickname based on her unfortunate looking face, which doesn't really say anything about her character, and SD is Tinkerbell, because tantrums about sharing attention.

lieutenant_dad's picture

I'd stick with the Peter Pan theme since you already have Tinkerbell.

BM is Captain Hook and MIL is Smee since BM is the ring leader of this circus and MIL exists only to kiss her arse. SIL is Mermaid since she is always trying to drown the Lost Boys (your family). Uhh...I'm not great on Peter Pan references, but you get the idea.

Mominit's picture

I love Peter Pan for either BM or MIL - which ever one you feel is acting like a perpetual child

I like PS for SIL.  Short for Pot Stirrer, but also known for Post Script - she's an afterthought.  If you can think of her as a PS in your life perhaps it will keep her in perspective.  Like a letter, she's not that important.  Just an afterthought that occassionally stirs up trouble and should be disregarded as much as possible.  (I suppose it could also be short for PoS....but that doesn't help get rid of negative emotions *acute*)

Jcksjj's picture

Postscript is a great sentiment...and it doesn't provoke the same angry reaction the nicknames I would come up with for her do

Ispofacto's picture

I try to focus on how relieved I am that don't have to deal with all that sh!t anymore.

tbh, I think I'm more angry with myself than anyone else for exposing myself too long.

It just takes time.

 

Caroline2b1211's picture

Waou, i didn't read all your blog posts, but what exaclty just happen ? 
I think i have the same crazy SIL and MIL here