I have over the years kept a journal but then five years ago when the MSD stopped having anything to do with us I quit. I really should have really continued to keep it but I was just so hurt and just did not want to continue to write down what was happening. I started reading my old journal the other day and what I find is that things were actually worse. I KNOW that I have been a good stepmom. I have bent over backwards for the skids and given and given and given, only to be a target of their hate. My dh has been blind time and time again to their behavior. Going over my journal I discover a pattern.

example: osd in college. We pay for car repairs, insurance, tuition, cell phone, pike pass, food, etc. We decide to gradually ween osd during her 2nd year in school. We paid all the cost to move her from the dorm to her own apartment. We asked her to pay for her own electric and food. The third year we asked her to turn in her pike pass. Here is where I see a pattern. We take a vacation with 2 of the three skids (msd blasted me on mothers day & said she would not go on vacation with us). We take the other two on vacation and tell osd that she will need to turn in her pike pass. She says ok. When vacation is over she heads back to school and does not give us the pike pass. DH says oh she forgot and will give it to us the next time she is in. She comes in about a month later and does not give it to us. btw one reason we had decided to wean her from the pike pass was she would drive her friends long distances and we are paying for all the charges. Felt it would be something to help her grow up and have some skin in the game if she wanted to continue to be a taxi for friends wanting trips consisting of a couple hundred miles. Anyway back to the pike pass. She time and time again does not turn it in. Dh had talked to her several times on the phone and she would say she would turn it in but she would just conveniently forget. I tell my dh that she will not turn it in until he asks for it. He would always tell me I just needed to be patient and give osd a little time to turn it in. She did not. Osd would come in and go about visiting family and friends and take off again to get back to school. The last time she was heading back to school she calls her dad who worked nites and was at work. She wanted to come by and see him and say good bye. So she stops and sees her dad and visits a bit and starts to leave. When she did her dad held out his hand and said okay Annie, give me the pike pass. a couple years later my dh tells me he was visiting with osd and her spouse and that she told him how it bothered her that I made such a big deal about the pike pass. She went on to say that we were paying for everything anyway and what was such a big deal about the pass but that she new how I was. When my dh told me this I looked at him and said I did not make a big deal about the pass, SHE DID.

Another example. osd gets married. I tell my dh that it was time for osd to get her own cell phone. (btw at this point we are still paying for her car insurance but had not yet put the car in her name) He once again tells me I need to be patient and that osd will on her own get her own phone and turn in the one we were providing. A little history on the cell phone. We did not have a texting plan and asked her not to text. She would go ahead and text and we would have from $5 to $10 extra in charges each month to texting and once while she went on a vacation and ran up charges of 250.00 in one week. Okay so back to dh telling me to be patient. I was. A year later she still has not even attempted to get her own phone. I tell dh that she has been married for a year and now has a baby and that it is time for her to get her own phone. We take osd and her family out to dinner and dh tells osd that she did not have to be in a big hurry but that we wanted her to look into getting her own phone. This was on valentines day. Nothing happens until june. We get a bill with over 30.00 in texting charges and she calls to let us know that she had gotten her own phone. I was glad she got her own phone but the very next day we are riding together to go to a family function and dh tells osd that we are glad she had gotten her own phone. I mention the 250.00 charges that she had run up in one week while on vacation and her reply was "well you should have let me get my own phone!" At that time I did not say anything but I thought "what the hell are you talking about?" Anyway, there it is. The pattern I see is osd never takes ownership for any wrong and dh always says osd will take care of what ever on her own.