Hi
im not looking for sympathy or advice i just need to vent because im about to explode,,,,

This is a child support rant,,,,

I am a SM to 2 children,,,,who i adore very very much and get along with very well, my stepkids are not the issue but im about to walk away from everything because i just cant deal with it anymore,,,,,but then agaain its not my husband fault or his kids that thier mother is out of control,,,,,,

My husband and i have his children 4 1/2 days a week, pay for insurance, all thier clothes, food, entertainment, field trips, extra curricular activities,,,anything that involves money,,,,and thats ok,,,i am NOT complaining,,,,,,,i do however tend to complain a little when money is tight and thier mother wants more money for herself and we cant do for the kids....

oh did i mention my husband pays child support? And whats even better my husband is a year behind in payments,,,,,so yes he is labeled a deadbeat dad because he cant afford his child support and he gets a ton of grief about that,
The economy has kicked our butts, We both lost our jobs 2 years ago and money has been close to nonexistant, over the course of the last 2 years i have almost lost my house, we have had all the utilities shut off at one time or another, had a car reposessed,,,,,,,my husband finaly decided to finish school, he had a year left and he would have a great career so we made a decision as a family to try and muddle through,,,it was better for us to struggle now and have a payoff later, we sat all the kids down and talked to them about the sacrifices all of us would have to keep making as a family to get through the next year ,,,,,,,,the kids were all for helping and so far we have almost made it,,,,sometimes we eat cheese sandwiches 5 days in a row but hey we have food, and we have gone without power and water but we are still trudging along,,,,,

so the ex thinks shes "entitled" to support even thought we both fully support those kids,,,,they may have hand me downs or this year for school clothes we had to go to salvation army but they have clothes,,,,,she hsa not offered to help buy the kids new clothes at all so they can have new things for school, instead she just keeps putting thier father down in front of them because hes not able to provide nicer things at this time,,,,,,we have this standing rule where anything at our house stays at our house and anything thier mom buys them stays there,,thats her idea,,,she seems to think that anything she sends over for her kids will just go to my son,,,,,,my son is 12, 5;8 and 140 lbs and her kids are 7 and 8 and half his zise,,,,yes im sure he just cant wait to get his hands on his SS clothes, lol

so my husband had to file a modification to temporarily stop support to his ex while hes in school,,,,he graduates in september and offered to start support back up in october once he found a job in his field,so its not like hes trying to get out of support even though he really shouldnt be paying at all,,,,,,, and we have been waiting a year for it and we found out that even if he was working full time (the ex makes literaly 10 times the salary my husband makes) she actually would have to pay him support,,,,,which we have denied,,,,,once hes through school we are going to be ok ,

so because he filed that shes trying to take the kids, shes being nasty, saying we are to poor to care for the kids and they hate it here and wants them full time even though she flat out has refused to take them an extra few days when we had no power,,,i seriously thought she want the kids more,,, i have a whole other post i want to vent about how she violates every single order in the divorce papers yet says hes doing those things,,,,its like displaced behavior with her big time,

ok so heres my issue,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,in october i got lucky and landed a fantastic job,,,,,,,my first check literaly went into saving us from being kicked out ont he street,,,,,,my 2nd check went to pay the past due on some bills,,andnow christamas is looming, even with a regular paycheck coming in we still dont have money for extra anything,,,,,,so now even though we are waiting on court hubby still has to pay CS< and now is threatened with going to jail even though hes only 700 behind.

it just makes me mad that i have to pay this to her,,i mean i dont have to but what kind of person would i be if i didnt?,,this woman makes almost 100k a year and i just started a job making less than 40 and im only 2 months into it, i have yet to get a paycheck that doesnt go 100% towards back bills,,,,,im thankful for my job, but it would be nice not to work 80 hours a week and still be short on bill money and then have to hand her over money i still dont really have just so she can piss it all away ,

I was recently offered a promotion at work and to get the promotion i had to do an interview with my supervisers bosses,,,,,,my "good" clothes consisted of a par of jeans that i tried to pull of as "chic" and a tank top i wore backwards because it had a small hole in the front and a button down shirt i also attempted to be made "chic". i felt like such a loser,,,,,before we lost our jobs we had decent money and new clothes , good food on the table and bills were paid, we dont drink, do drugs or smoke, none of our money is foolishly spent,,we just refuse to buy ourselves new stuff if the kids are going without, ,,,,,,,we havent even been out to eat in 2 years,

so it just makes me mad when im in the mall to take my son to the $5.00 haircut place and who do i see across the way in the nail salon? The ex shes getting a mani/pedi and her hair is in foil because shes having a color done, and she has 3 macys bags next to her,,,,,i wonder if those contain anything her daughter can wear since her mother just sent us an email saying the kids need clothes they have grown out of thier and thier father needs to man up and buy them, grrrrrrrrrr

i had been saving up a little bit of money each week to get myself a new outfit in case of another promotion ( im still hoping ot get this one) and money to take the kids to dinner,,,,so i had the money saved and guess where it went? in a check to pay her child supportr because hubby got a letter today saying if he didnt pay up then he was losing his liscense,,and was looking at jail time, i mean come on,,THE MAN SUPPORTS HIS KIDS!!!,,and then more burden falls on me having to tote everyone around,,,,,,,,,,,,,im so ready to walk away but then that would just make me selfish,,,,,why cant the judge and lawyers see shes just a lazy selfish person who only cares abotu herself??? thre are so many other things but this rant is long enough,,,,,anyway we arent deadbeats, we have the kids most of the week and pay for everything and yet because hes arrears in CS still labeled a deadbeat , she knows he has no money and yet keeps dragging him to court for more and more money never mind she makes a ton more than him and they will have equal income when he graduates at the end of this coming summer, ,,,,thanks for letting me vent im sorry this is so long,,,,,i havent learned how to compact my anger yet,,,lol