While were were married and DS19 was little and in the almost 15 years since we got divorced, I've never said anything derogatory about XH to DS. I've never told him the reasons we got divorced (he was little when it happened and I just explained that we didn't work well as married people but we work better as separate parents and that worked for him).

There are a lot of things going wrong for XH right now and I feel sorry for him. That's not the karma part. I take no joy in his life going poorly. I offered to help with one little part (XHs cat is very ill and he's a super-duper-softy with pets so if it has to be put down, I told DS that he could let XH know I could do that appointment).

DS is currently living with XH since we enforced a "minimum of three weeks at each house" rule. DS can come back here at this point. He has been calling me frequently in the last few days. Seems as though XH is cracking and is handling things in a way that is mostly counter-productive. XH is not handling his anxiety well and its spilling past the areas that are causing it. DS is super-frustrated with it and I think DS is realizing that these are things I experienced when XH and I were married. (I still do not say anything derogatory. I remind DS to have compassion. But I don't tell him to take crap from XH just because XH is stressed.)