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How does this make sense?

Ispofacto's picture

Satan’s original life plan was: continue grifting her rich grandfather (that's an interesting story), get DH to marry her, produce one child aka paycheck, bankrupt DH, divorce him, take allllll his assets, including his home equity and 401k, collect CS, skim extras off the top, go on disability, put Killjoy on disability, collect lifetime CS and extras, find a new Mealticket, keep his income too, kill off her siblings, get GBM's money.  Possibly get her hands on any inheritances from the deaths of MIL/FIL, then DH, then probably me.

Her plan fell apart when her grandfather died and left her nothing (for forging checks on his account), GBM disowned her (for killing off her siblings), then she stupidly/lazily lost custody of Killjoy (neglect). Now Mealticket has dumped her too, and since he refused to marry her and she was too lazy to have another child with him, she won't get anything out of him. So now she has to live off her pittance from ssdi, since she worked the bare minimum to get it, she gets the bare minimum benefit. And she has champagne wishes and caviar dreams.

Her new plan is to live off Killjoy. She openly told GBM that Killjoy is going to get a volleyball scholarship to UW Madison, and Satan thinks she can come live with her at college, for free.  Killjoy isn’t good enough to get into UWM.  She’s looking at schools hundreds of miles away.  So she'll have an excuse to blow off her mother, because she's too much of a coward to tell her the truth.  Killjoy can't stand Satan, not because of Satan's lack of morals, but because she doesn't give Killjoy money.

But here's what really has me puzzled.  What would living with Killjoy at college even look like?  In the....dorms?....

Dunno, it's crazy.

Like...imagine being so lazy, like....the world's laziest psychopath, I guess?....or stupid?....that you're too lazy to even think through your nefarious schemes....like....wtf is she even thinking?  I mean she has one job: to be a good psychopath, and she can't even do that right.

Does she think Killjoy will be living in a big sorority house, like Legally Blonde?  I mean...I guess that would make more sense than the dorm, but, I mean...does she imagine they would give Satan a free room there, or would she be bunking up with Killjoy?...It's so weird...so, so weird....the sports teams live in the dorms, anyways....

 

Comments

JRI's picture

I was going to suggest enjoying the show but I saw your SD lives with you so it's probably too close to be enjoyable.

Some of these people live in fantasy land.  SD59"s latest fantasy unfolded at lunch Tuesday.  She couldn't decide whether or not to go to a lake with a boyfriend to join him on his yacht.  She'd already turned him down on 3 prior occasions but he kept begging her.  A long description of the yacht followed but she still didn't know if she would go.  Uh huh.

I hope Satan packs her pompoms so she can cheer at all the games.  Lol.

CLove's picture

Oh mah Gerd!

Oh I just cant decide! But hes BEGGING ME!

LOL.

Yeah, Weird. Satan sounds so very Satanic, so who knows where she planned on "living". Maybe she imagines bunk beds. I mean, Toxic Troll has managed to stuff her considerable bulk, a teen, a sort of adult, a husky and (before death) a rabbit into a 1-bedroom arpartment...so it seems ...possible...and then she can go to all the college parties! Win- win

Ispofacto's picture

LOLOLOL @ the pompoms.  She doesn't go to Killjoy's games, since there's nothing in it for her.  She's morbidly obese, increadibly pale, petulant.  It would be funny to see her stuffed into a cheer outfit and forced to wave poms.  I am enjoying the show, I kicked DH and Killjoy out in 2019.

Does SD59 even really have a BF?  It's funny that she thinks anyone would believe her stories!  Wow.  Total lack of self awareness.

 

JRI's picture

SD59 has  had a string of fantasy boyfriends.  I don't want to know ANY details but I'm guessing she has internet hookups.  We will hear about some guy and there's probably a tiny fact that gets heavily embroidered.  I'm guessing this one mentioned he has a bass boat somewhere.

tog redux's picture

Maybe she has been watching Arrested Development, where Michael went to live in the dorm with George Michael?

Ispofacto's picture

You may actually be onto something.  Seriously.  She watches sitcoms obsessively, Full House, etc.  Even the crap on the Disney channel like iCarly and Jessie.  And she's 41.

She's like a giant toddler.

 

Monkeysee's picture

Wait, she killed off her siblings? I'm confused, why isn't she in prison? Feel like I'm missing something lol

ndc's picture

I'm sure Killjoy's roommate in the dorm will be very excited for Satan to move in.  Especially since it's not allowed.  And has Satan seen the size of a dorm room?  It sounds like she's put even less thought into this plan than her original highly flawed plan.  

Did she literally kill off her siblings?

Ispofacto's picture

Satan didn't mention the dorms specifcally.  I can't imagine what she could be thinking.  I'm trying to understand.

 

advice.only2's picture

Holy crap I just read your other blog, when it comes to Satan I'm all for late term abortions...somebody needs to perform that asap.

Ispofacto's picture

Yeah, she was also the last person to see her granfather alive...

She recently got evicted from her apartment.  She took advantage of the eviction moratorium to shaft her landlord for a year, so she blew all her rent money on who knows what, you can be sure she didn't bank a penny of it.  She also sold her landlord's appliances.  They took her to court, but they can't collect because she's on disability.  She cleaned all the valuables out of her neighbor's apartment after the old lady died.  I'm curious if the lady died of natural causes. 

Body count: 2, possibly 4+.

She's a burden on society.  It's only a matter of time before she gets beaten up or killed for grifting the wrong person, or commits a felony that she actually gets caught for.  *Crosses fingers*

advice.only2's picture

Oh my gosh, it just gets worse and worse!! Talk about true evil incarnate!

lieutenant_dad's picture

My mom and I were having a conversation recently about ET and my SSis, and how I don't understand why someone wouldn't just work. Like, it's *work* to scam people. It's *work* to scheme this much. Why not just work and get more money? With the loose morals and scheming some of these folks do, they could make an absolute killing (no pun intended) in the private sector.

Ispofacto's picture

We used to say Satan could cure cancer with the effort she put into stalking us.  Too bad these people can't make themselves useful.

Everything is about "winning" to them.  They can't do anything someone else would benefit from.

The only reason Satan still comes around is she's still stubbornly hoping for some kind of inheritance payout eventually, but her ROI is going to be extremely low.  But for now she pays herself back for the supreme effort of driving to pick Killjoy up, by having Killjoy clean her house and cook her meals while she's there.

She has zero interest in Killjoy personally. 

CLove's picture

I think the same of her - like she would be a much happier person with a job, and could still get assistance etc. Retraining money...

But no, she makes a full time job out of going to doctors to concoct a legal case to get "free money".

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

I'm waiting for the plot with our BM. She has lost her looks so scamming another poor sap is out of the question.

She still has SKs AKA tax returns, but she blows through that money in a few months so I. Not sure her plan to get through the rest of the year. 

We have bets on which kid she is going to try and live with when they are all grown.