It's time for change and it starts with me!
This battle of wills and constant conflict has left me feeling lethargic and stupid.
I know I have no control over others. I accept that.
When I feel as though I am beaten and down, I pray for courage.
When everyone seems to be blaming me for their life being the way it is, logic tells me it was this way when I met them.
I have wasted enough time trying to make them happy and make their life better. It is time to take care of myself.
Where do I start?
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Im with you! They had a tough
Im with you! They had a tough life..now they have a home a real home...they know where they are coming to everyday they know where they are gonna lay their heads every night...they have food on the table and clothes on their backs...they have a good life...but instead of embracing it and doing what it takes they want to ruin it...because ruining things is all they ever seen when they were in the other home.
I need me back...I need my smile back...I need to know that I didn't make them who they are I was just trying to make them better kids who would become better adults instead dad wouldnt and doesnt back me...so I either woman up and move on and worry about me and mine instead of him and his or just continue to be miserable!
@beebusdriver93- Are you a
@beebusdriver93-
Are you a mind reader? My new mantra is "As a SM it is my job to keep them fed, clean and safe. It's their parents job to make them human."
As for the BM...well, a little friendly competition shouldn't hurt her. She has spent so much time mind f*&%ing skids into making life bad for me that I have become more like her. Mean tempered, lazy and obsessive. If I get back to me...wouldn't that just choke the chicken. (literally)
"Woman up." I'm gonna borrow that.
start today! take care of
start today!
take care of yourself and make YOU happy.
I'm going to take care of me next week only because that's the soonest i could schedule. i will be getting my hair cut and highlighted - used to do it all the time but quit because had to buy groceries, help pay for meals for skids but i've stopped and put $ aside as if i were paying for things on skid weekends and saved up enough to go get pampered!
even thinking about a mani/pedi and a mini shopping day while DH sits at home with skids.
I get what you are saying,
I get what you are saying, dakotamom. I have worked on that.
For my situation, I need something a little more substantial; like ti chi or yoga. Finding something to center my spirit, uplift my soul and give me some physical ambition.
I am now 10 lbs heavier than I have ever been in my life, my house is not up to my standards and I struggle to find the energy each day to do anything about it. I spend all day obsessing and worrying.
How do I shut down my thoughts and rid myself of this poison?
I'm with you there on the
I'm with you there on the weight gain. I dont' know how to get it off. i've tried eating better but i think it's just going to be going back to the gym. DH did it with me before and it was awesme having him there to talk to but he doesn't want to do it this time. i need to "woman up" and be a big girl and go alone. i've never been big on the yoga but i agree on finding something for lifting my spirit. i feel so negative.
dakotamom, I'll do it with
dakotamom, I'll do it with you!
If you want, lets start making a plan.
We can meet (in the virtual world) every day and give each other our goals for the day. I can help hold you accountable and you, me.
We can talk about our weaknesses, fears, commitments and troubles. We can congratulate each other and not have to do it alone.
When do you want to start?
HAHA! i had to delete what i
HAHA! i had to delete what i was goign to write you by saying lets start next week because i'm realizing this is yet again finding a way to put it off.
i am game whenever you are.
OK. Would it be easier to
OK. Would it be easier to exchange emails or to IM?
Lets make a time every week day morning to check in with each other. I would even consider giving you my phone number if it is easier.
check, check and
check, check and check!
Thanks Crayon.
#1 - working on it - actually
#1 - working on it - actually DH's idea!
#2 - check
#3 - getting pretty close! In conjunction with #1
#4 - got my hair done Friday - thinking about coloring it next weekend...
To skylarksms:Go get em girl!
To skylarksms:Go get em girl! Keep me posted as you progress.
I feel more empowered today because of steptalk.
Thanks everyone!
I will look into ordering
I will look into ordering those books today, stepaside
Is it hard to let go and apply those boundaries for yourself? I mean; sometimes I say, "This isn't my problem, stay out of it" and then...I worry and obsess over the dis-function anyway. Does the book explain how not to cross your own boundaries?
Stepaside- Some of this rings
Stepaside- Some of this rings true to my situation. Some of it not. But I really like the ending ,"Once I realized my role, I realized that it's not my cup of tea. His kids may have issues, but I'll never solve them. And it's not my job to anyway. Now that I know without a doubt that their sole agenda is to continue reminding me that they don't accept me, I don't have to keep trying. Because I KNOW how they will respond. Been there, done that."
Can I borrow that?
This is what I want to know
This is what I want to know how do I step back and let this little brat by with all the things she is doing..what kind of example is that showing the other 2 children in this house....I have notice they have started with some talking back...etc...why should she do it and I step back and say nothing but my child does it and I refuse for her to do it...so I tell her I will whip her little butt if she tries that crap with me again....Its not fair to the 2 good kids in this house for 1 brat to get away with everything short of murder!
I tell my BD15 that she
I tell my BD15 that she should worry about what she is doing instead of what everyone else is up to.
She understands that the skids have never been taught the importance of sharing and kindness, but she has, and THAT is the family she comes from.
i have read from other
i have read from other stepmoms and bios on this sight that you can only control your kids. you need to explain to them that they are better than the skid and you expect better from them.