To teach a child to hate ANYONE should be a form of mental abuse. Especially if you are teaching them to hate because of the color of their skin or how they believe. Did BM know that her neighbor was of a different ethnicity than her when she moved? Hope not! What an ugly person. See in instances such as yours, it is so easy to understand why bio moms are so hated. It is obvious who the better mom is in this situation. GOD BLESS STEP MOMS!!!!!! Just as my five year old stepdaughter so eloquently put it "God made daddy meet you because he knew I needed a good mommy and he chose you".

I grew up in a home of extreme prejudice. My father was a great man, best dad.... EXCEPT when it came to his hatred of anyone who was not white. (Although I must say that as he grew older and I was an adult, he changed his views and became very accepting of anyone) I remember that turmoil it caused in my mind and heart because I could not believe like that. So, first boyfriend I brought home was a black boy that I had met. Then I met a hispanic man and married him. Needless to say I got my ass beat, but I could never look at a person and see color. I saw the person they were. But it caused so much heartache going against my family. And it saddens me that I know as your ss gets older, he will have to be facing these same issues. And that is not something that a child should feel.

When I met my current husband, the first thing my mom asked was "Did you get a white one this time" I laughed and walked away. Yes, he is white **technically**. But his stepdad was a black gentleman who was an AMAZING man!!!! The majority of his family and my inlaws are either black or biracial. I love it. I love the uncomfortable feeling that my mother has at birthday parties and family events because unlike my dad, she has never come to see that her hateful thoughts are wrong. So this is my sweet revenge. Unfortunatley it has taken alot of therapy to make me not care about what my family feels. Just try and teach that precious child that hating is wrong and that his mom is making bad choices to not like people or to call people ugly. That is just so wrong.

My BD's dad is racist too. I always told him that if he ever mentioned his beliefs to her that I would make sure that he never saw her again. He knows how serious I am on this issue. He dislikes anyone who had any sort of African decent in them. So I was thrilled when my daughter came home telling me that she had a new best friend (a year ago) and she was the most beautiful little chocolate skinned child you will ever meet. She has become my adopted daughter and her parents are mine and DH's best friends as well. You can see the disgust on my ex's face when he drops BD off and they are over or we are at their house. Again, sweet revenge. I have explained to my daughter that she makes her own choices and that hating is wrong. I explained to her that at times her real dad may make statements that are not nice. To please not dislike him for these harsh words because it is his lack of knowledge causing this. But to not allow her heart to be open to such ugliness. It has worked so far.

Good luck with this situation. It is a topic that hits me hard because of the way I had to grow up. I thank God for giving me the heart to never feel such hate in it. That lady needs to be taken out and beat!!!! Oh, and BTW..... how do like this real estate market right now? UGH! I am a realtor too!

Your SS bio mom is abusive to her own son by teaching him to be a biggot. My family was the same way and I had to learn at a very young age from my teacher that what I was saying in the 2nd grade was terrible, I will never forget being brought down to the principals office to have a chat with him and my teacher. When my parents finally showed up they claimed to have never said anything like that and were I would get it from was beyond them. Well needless to say I got the spanking of my life when I got home because I had embarrassed my parents. Now here is the part you should get a real kick out of; my father is white, my mother is full blooded mexican and my grandmother had their first marriage anulled because her daughter married a white man. My grandmother only let them get remarried because my mother was pregnant. My mother and father were the two biggest biggotts I ever met and they even went as far as trying to tell me not to talk to my best friend in the entire world (i was 25 years old at the time and known my friend for 10 years already) because they had always assumed he was portarican and found out he was half white and half black. When I refused they called him every name in the book and me a slut for even talking or being a friend to him. Talk with your husband about this and seek help for your SS or try to get more time with him so he is way from his bio mom if you don't there could be real problems when he goes to school or even if you go some place public and he makes a rude remark which he would not know any better that its a bad thing to say and get hurt. My mother is such a biggot that she will call us children white, never hispanic and I am very proud of my race. I have never really seen color I guess I"m fortunate but I also kept my distance when ever my parent would start their crap just because I knew from my teacher and principal that it was wrong. I will never forget that terrible day please don't let your SS be put in the same position that I was. Good luck.