Tracking software for teens - opinions wanted
I need to get your opinions.
DH is long distance parent. Kid(s) have had phones for a long time. DH has had tracking turned on (so does BM) for at least a year.
16 yr old has had phone since age 9 or so but just in last year DH added it with the kid getting a job and forgetfulness. He can know when kid is at work and not call and bug the kid, etc.
11 yr old just got a phone last Christmas and tracking turned on as soon as we had them for Christmas visit.
Suddenly the tracking is off for both off. Kids would not have turned off. It was the other parent.
There is minimal contact with DH and BM. Everything is a fight so he pretty much swallows and grits teeth on a lot of things.
Kids will be here soon for Summer. He wants to turn it back on, but it will more than likely be turned off when they return.
Worth bringing up to BM or no? I realize they live there 85% of the year but my opinion he still has a right to track them if he wanted to.
Thoughts?
- ICanMakeIt's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I think he is within his
I think he is within his rights to have it turned on when they are in his custody. I can understand why he has liked this access in the past, but it could also be seen as being somewhat intrusive on BM because it would potentially be tracking her as well, when she is with her kids.
If their relationship is not 100% contentious.. I guess he could ask why it had been turned off, but he may just have to accept that this is something she controls while they are with her.
I'm not a big fan of tracking
I'm not a big fan of tracking software, especially for older kids - can the 16 yo have a choice in the matter?
I think what BM does with the phones is her business on her time, and I'm not really understanding why your DH needs to track them on her time. No way would we have agreed to BM tracking SS on our time.
The 16 year old does exactly
The 16 year old does exactly as told. Very good kid, very compliant.
The 16 year old got a job and "forgets" his schedule. Tracking was used about 4 times when calls went unanswered and DH was able to figure out the kid was at work.
For the younger daughter, she is a social butterfly and athlete with a crazy schedule that ...you guessed it...no one bothers to communicate to DH. It was for those reasons he used tracking.
There are few things that
There are few things that will infuriate bm more than the skids leaving their phone in your home when they are with you. No tracking possible. Just sayin'
Hahaha - touche
Hahaha - touche
The kids think they would die without their phones at their fingertips, but I like it.
This may be the perfect solution.
There are few things that
There are few things that will infuriate bm more than the skids leaving their phone in your home when they are with you. No tracking possible. Just sayin'
Ehh...I'd leave it off. I'd
Ehh...I'd leave it off. I'd feel super creeped out as a BM if my ex was tracking the kids when they were with me. And I'd turn it off for her when they're with you.
If your DH is long distance,
If your DH is long distance, I fail to see the need for tracking. It seems intrusive. I mean seriously, even if he can see she's at a kegger in the woods, what can he do about it being that far away? If I was the BM I would turn it off. Although, I did track DS after he got his Driver's license and disappeared on my Ex for 6 hours.
That being said, who pays for the phones? If your DH does and it's one of his conditions for paying for the phones then it should be turned back on.
Who pays for the phones and
Who pays for the phones and plan? If you/DH pay any part of that simply call the phone company, tell them to do a temporary disable of the phones. Call BM and tell her you will turn them back on once the tracking is back on. If it is taken off again you will cancel the phones all together and report them as stolen so they turn into a brick and can't be used on another phone plan.
This feels gross. While they
This feels gross. While they are with BM, they are her responsibility and she (and they) have a right to privacy when the kids are with her. SS needs to learn to keep track of his own schedule and communicate it to his dad. Your DH needs to not freak out when his kids don't immediately contact him. If DH wants SD's activity schedule, he should contact the school and sports teams, etc for the schedules.