I want a re-do
Do you ever feel like not matter what you do...no matter how hard you work or save, how hard you pray, everything just turns to $hit?
I've been trying SO HARD to be positive and now I'm wondering why I even bother. What's the point.
DH has to bring his vehicle in today for repairs. His deductible is $500. When he purchased this vehicle in 2013 and traded in hid old one, he called his insurance to let them know and assumed the same policy would just roll over. They never said anything was changing or sent new info in the mail. (I have had the same car for almost 12 years so I don't know how it works) He calls his insurance to get a rental because he had car rental coverage.....they tell him he doesn't have it anymore since he bought the other vehicle it created a "new policy".. He is LIVID. But there is nothing the company will do for him. Oh wait, they offered to rent a car to him for $35/day+gas costs+mileage. Considering DH just put the $500 on the credit card he just paid off, I don't think he is going to. He said with his luck somebody would hit him in the rental and bankrupt him. I don't blame him for being so pessimistic. The cops have the license plate of the guy that hit him and ran but nothing has come from it.
They are claiming he might have his vehicle back by Friday but considering they have only seen pictures and not actually looked at the damage yet I'm doubting it. Of course this weekend we have SS. SIL is picking up SS on Friday, but I'm sure I'll be dropping him off on Sunday. I think a lot of places are closed on Monday due to the holiday, and we have SS on Monday. DH is looking into taking the bus to work, but is debating just using PTO. If he takes PTO we won't be able to go anywhere for July 4th this year, which sucks because it's 4 days NO SS so I would like to get out and do something that doesn't involve the spoiled-brat. He won't have any PTO left to do it. Forgot to add we work very different shifts and in different cities. I start two hours earlier. I could have him take me to work in my car, but then I'd be waiting over 2 hours for him to pick me up from work.
Icing on the cake: my work sat us all down after the new year and announced they were re-locating us to a different building in a different city and selling our current building by 2020. This turns my commute to 40 minutes one way on a good day. They told us not to worry because they were literally just relocating our operation. Okay, stressful but not the end of the world. Fast-forward and a few weeks later they call another meeting and the story changes to "don't worry, we will find a place for everyone". This means I might be forced into a department I have NO experience in, probably with a pay decrease. Now I'm just terrified it's all going to turn into "Nice knowing you guys, thanks for the hard work" when it comes time to sell the building. I've been with this company over 5 years. I don't know how to do anything else, my resume is short I've only had 6 jobs (that is including current job) since I was 14. I'm going to be 34 in less than 4 months. I don't want to start from the bottom again. My bosses don't even know if they are going to have a job when this is done.
DH went to drop off SS yesterday and BM met him at the door with “so when are you going to be paying for these medical bills for SS?” DH told her time and time again (and has the text message to prove it) that he already paid more than his share for the first two bills and told her to STOP bringing him in to the doctor for the wart unless she wanted to pay for it. She refused. DH didn’t find out until he got more bills in the mail from his insurance company after the extra treatments. Now she’s mad that he won’t “help pay”.
This is so much harder than I ever imagined it would be. The stupid visitation schedule, petty manipulative BM, never having any money to go on vacation, the constant debt, and now I don't even know if I'm going to have a job next year. DH is trying not to be moody but he is extremely sullen and withdrawn unless SS is over due to the vehicle fiasco. Tried to meal-plan and the giant package of chicken and rice that I bought with the intent on making two casseroles that would last over a week were just cooked/seasoned/eaten (he made chicken and rice, no other ingredients) in two days so now we are short a week on food. Before the announcement about my job, I got mad and pulled the vet bill out of my savings and paid my credit card back down to 250. Now with the announcement I feel stupid for doing so. It will take me at least 5 months to put that money back.
Trying to be optimistic but this has been a hard month.
Oh and this might be TMI, but Dh and I finally broke the intimacy hiatus and it sucked. I think I need an ovarian scan done, intercourse has been painful every.time. and it doesn't' matter if we use a product or not, doesn't matter if it's months apart. (I'm lucky if it's once every two-three months) Bleeding and soreness for days after, and we aren't aggressive. Went to the free clinic (been going there for years) and they strongly recommended a uterus scan but my insurance won't cover it and after calling around it's $400 not including potential treatment. So now I can't even enjoy intimacy. Yes, I'm pouting and venting. Who cares.
Can I get a re-do on 2019? I would very much like a re-do.
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I would start submitting my
I would start submitting my resume for other job opportunities. If you have an entire year to look, you can head off the uncertainty and possible pay decrease while landing a better job!
Do you have any planned parenthood clinics near you? They should be able to provide an ultrasound of your uterus on a sliding scale fee, if not for free. Please don't put this off any longer. The longer you wait, the chances are the treatment becomes even more expensive.
I'm honestly not sure but
I'm honestly not sure but this free clinic (already a sliding-scale clinic so tech not free for me) did not suggest them they said I would have to go to a hospital? I've been calling around like crazy but forgot about planned parenthood. Thank you for the suggestion, I will give them a shot if they still exist in my state. My annuals have always come back clean so I have no clue what could be causing this but it SUCKS.
Did they do a pap at the free
Did they do a pap at the free clinic? The biggest fear with painful sex/bleeding afterward is cervical cancer. Why did they think it's your uterus? I had to have my cervix burned in cervical cancer treatments and I never once had a uteran scan for it.
I just looked it up, and some PP locations do offer LEEP procedures for cervical cancer treatments. They are only effective if it's caught early enough. Please make an appointment asap!
Pap done, all clear. That's
Pap done, all clear. That's why so frustrating.This has been an ongoing issue for three years.
I'm not understanding how
I'm not understanding how your insurance wouldn't cover this diagnostic test and/or treatment? You are experiencing significant pain and off cycle bleeding. That is a significant medical problem. Call and push your insurance company.
not routine
they won't cover it because it's not considered a "routine annual expense" like depo provera or my one pap a year. I had a cervic tissue sample test done 3-4ish years ago and was diagnosed with something common, but it went away on the following paps (a few years worth, nothing else flagged either) so they gave me the all clear.
So by this, I am guessing you
So by this, I am guessing you have a "high deductible" plan. I'm on one as well and when my DH had cancer TWO years in a row.. we had to pay a fairly significant amount out of pocket. But.. you know what? You only get one life. Seriously.
My dentist tells me of the clients who balk at paying for expensive dental work while they have vehicles sitting in his parking lot worth tens of thousands of dollars.. we get several cars during our life. ONE set of teeth. In other words.. prioritize your health over EVERYTHING.
So.. here is the deal and the ultimatum for your DH.
1. I need to take care of my health and get this testing done. I will look for the most economical way to do it.. but we will be doing this.. and we will tighten our collective belts so it can happen.
2. So.. NO car rental. No skipping work. We will get you to work.. either the bus or I will drive you even if it means you are going in early or have to wait for me.
3. Call that police officer DAILY to move this case forward. We need to get refunded that deductible and that should come from the guy that hit you.. or his insurance company. We can't move on that until the police do their job. Hound them.. nicely.. remind them. Do not let it get pushed aside.
4. Take a look at your other spending.. figure out how to cut back.. CS obligations can't be.. so no meal out for a while.. pack your lunches.. no new fancy clothes..for anyone..only required spending is made until the medical issue is behind you.
The good thing is that you are at the beginning of your insurance calendar year... get the testing started asap so that you don't end up crossing over into next year when your deductible will reset.
There may be financing or payment options for that testing. look into it. Look into local teaching colleges or nearby ones that might offer some services at lower cost. level with your physician about your financial strain.. they don't want you to ignore problems and will likely help you figure out a solution.
Maybe even consider taking a loan or a hardship withdrawal from your 401K.. I had to to pay my DH's medical bills and it's a last resort.. but if you need to do it.. do it! Do not wait until your problem is too far gone... do not martyr yourself about how you can't take care of your own needs because you are trying to fix everyone else's problems. I know I did that when my DH was sick because I just couldn't deal with another issue.. it's stupid and can lead to worse problems.
My brother started getting
My brother started getting scared of losing his job a few years ago so he started looking for something and found a job making about the same amount of money but felt more job security. Another company then offered him a job making well over 100,000 with a company car, insurance and a cell phone...he took that one! Cant hurt to look
Wow.. that's a LOT going on.
Wow.. that's a LOT going on. The the good thing is that your company did give notice of all this going on.. so I know.. you don't want to have to change jobs.. but since you don't have decent benefits (I'm reading that since you are having all those issues with getting testing).. start your job search NOW.. and while you might only know how to do "that" job.. chances are with all those jobs you have some skills that will transfer to other jobs.
Take care of your health issue.. you can't deal with the other stuff if you are falling apart.
I am assuming you have a car. It sounds like you may need to give your DH a ride to work. Even if that means he gets dropped off really early.. or picked up really late. Also.. doesn't he have a coworker that might be able to help with a ride too? There is always UBER.. and check on your own for car rental.
The insurance sucks.. I learned you have to really watch this stuff because they will change coverages on you.. and they may send paperwork.. but if you don't read it.. you can't know. Shoot.. your 12 year policy might be different than what you think. Get a copy of your policy and read it.
Your DH needs to be a bit
Your DH needs to be a bit more assertive with the police too. I would be calling them DAILY to tell them that he needs that person's information so that he can get his insurance company to charge that guy's ins company for the cost of the accident. that guy would also be liable to pay your DH's deductible. you need his information.. you need to press to have him CHARGED with the crime and then you can hopefully have your ins company get his (he may well have ins..) or at least your husband can take him to court (small claims) to get his deductible.
Hey Losing It -
Hey Losing It -
That is a lot going on and very stressful I’m sure. I’ve definitely been there!
Deep breaths...one foot in front of the other. There’s some sociological study that’s demonstrated that we dread situations much more than we should...ie things tend to work out, and we imagine things coming up will be worse than they actually turn out to be.
I’m turning 40 this year...and when I look back at all the money stress I’ve had in the past decade...I realize I probably stressed too much. Money stuff has a way of working itself out...because people are very resourceful. We make a little more, cut back a bit...and it all washes out.
I know that’s easy to say when you’re not currently going through the stress (though I can always find something to worry about if I really look) but it’s a good reminder / outside perspective.
Oh yeah. And car insurance companies suck and are a bunch of crooks. I’d be livid about that, too. Do you have Uber in your area? Probably a cheaper way to make transportation work out in the interim...
Oh...and I concur with the
Oh...and I concur with the others. Do what you need to do to get yourself well...go do it. Money is replaceable. You and your health are not.
1) If your DH can take the
1) If your DH can take the bus, he needs to take the bus. Or you can drop him off at work.
2) He needs to get a second job. He can't meet his obligations with his current pay, so he needs to step it up.
3) Start putting out feelers now for a new job. You'll likely find that you're worth more as a new hire than you are as a seasoned worker. Companies don't tend to have much loyalty to older employees, so you may find someone willing to pay you more even if you are "bottom tier".
4) Go to your county hospital and get testing done ASAP. They can offer repayment plans that are reasonable. Do NOT mess with cervical or uterine issues.
Know how you feel
How you feel is like shit. Listen don't act like what you are going through is silly. Don't feel like you are overreacting. Your not. You are going through a lot. I recently worked through depression that seemed like the lasted way too long. Then one day I decided I will give this mess 2 more days then I am done. Hell, I had to cook, wash clothes, attend teacher meetings and staying down wouldn't cut it any longer. Be sad, angry..be in the moment you are in. But set a day to move on past the sad days. I am sorry you are going through so much. Been there luv
I want a re-do on 2018...
I want a re-do on 2018... Like just scratch most of the year and try again...
I'm sorry you're going through so much right now!!! I know everything piling up feels suffocating... Dig through it all at YOUR pace!!! You got this! Also I agree. Maybe start looking at other jobs? You're probably qualified for more than you realize!!!
DH needs to stop meeting BM
DH needs to stop meeting BM at the door. No more undocumented conversations with BM in front of skid.
Please get your health
Please get your health checked out ASAP. I had pain only with intercourse. Turned out I had a YUGE cyst encapsulating one of my ovaries that had to be removed surgically.
I agree with others - put your resume out there and start looking. If anything, it keeps your review skills fresh.
I just tried PP
Just called my insurance: out of the 50 planned parenthood locations near me; there is only ONE that is considered in-network by my provider. They want $405 for the scan and clinic visit. The ultrasound is $175 and the office visit I was told due to the nature of this visit would be on the high-end (around $230) so $405 just to see if anything is wrong. I hate this state. How are women supposed to survive?? This is insane. And what if it comes up with nothing? that's $400 out the friggin window. This visit also is not covered by my insurance because I guess the insurance companies only care about "family planning" and not "women's health". An ultrasound is not considered part of "family planning" (Direct quote from Blue Cross Blue Shield rep). I am SO mad right now I just want to throw my keyboard.
An ultrasound is not
An ultrasound is not considered part of "family planning"
What a crock of crap. I'm sorry. For what it's worth... Prayers for you, hon.
Girl, I know it sounds like a
Girl, I know it sounds like a "lot" to pay to potentially find out that "nothing" is wrong.. BUT.. crap girl, it's under $500 dollars to get a test that your doctor thinks is necessary to diagnose a potentially dangerous issue. I KNOW money doesn't grow on trees and I KNOW spending money on medical costs isn't fun. It's like buying tires.. you need them but shoot.. it's not as much fun as a new outfit and pair of shoes or a vacation!.
But this is your LIFE we are talking about. If you get this scan/ultrasound, they can at least rule OUT some pretty scary stuff. My husband had a kidney tumor that was found during a scan of his back for a work physical... it was darn scary that he might not have found out about the cancer until he was in a late stage. It was found early (if pool ball size is early haha) and they saved 80% of that kidney. If you DO have a cyst or tumor, they will see it in a scan. If they see "nothing" then perhaps it's something to do with stress etc causing you to have issues.. BUT.. please rule out the possibility you have somehting inside of you that needs to come out!
Put it on your charge card.. plan to pay 50 bucks a month for a year to pay it off..get a care credit acct.. see if they can set up a payment plan at little to no interest. Check with other providers in your network to see if anyone else can do this maybe at a lower cost. Planned Parenthood is not the end all be all of low cost providing. You may find another place willing to do it for less.
Above all.. do NOT put this off. And get your foot all the way UP your husband's butt to follow up with the Police until he has someone he can go after for the deductible he had to pay. (the guy or his Ins if he has it). Your life is worth $500.00 it's a lot more precious than that trip you want to take later this year... and I know.. the test may prove to not see anything.. but it can at least rule out some of the scarier possibilities.
Hey! You just paid
Hey! You just paid a $500 deductible to get your husband's car fixed. The cost to get an ultrasound and clinic visit to find out why you are having abdominal pain and bleeding with intercourse is $95 less than that. Are you seriously saying that your health and ruling out a potentially serious condition is worth less than a damned CAR DEDUCTIBLE?????
No messing around here. Get in, get the visit and test, and refuse to leave until someone takes seriously the pain and bleeding. That is not normal. You are worth more than a car and every woman on this board is going to push you to get this done.
sorry so late on response
I didn't pay for DH deductable he put it on credit card. I figured I "help out" enough around here.
DH needs to get a second and third job
To pay his bills. He has to get off his rear and do something