The crying to Mommy isn't the problem, it's the Mommy overreacting and making the kid think Dad doesn't care that's the problem.  A sane divorced mom would have said, "I'm sorry you don't feel well, honey, drink water and get lots of sleep.  Did you tell Dad you don't feel good?" Not,"What is your father doing for you? Nothing, of course. My poor baby - you are so sick! He's such a terrible father! Tell him I'm coming to get you to take you to the hospital!!"

Spawn would do this same crap...she came running into our room one night hysterical because she felt like she couldn’t breathe, telling DH she and meth mouth had been texting and decided she had a pulmonary embolism and needed to go to emergency stat.

he didn’t take her, told her to calm down she was probably having a panic attack then gave her some Xanax.

next weekend meth mouth took her to the emergency room (because that’s the only place she will go) and told them she had a pulmonary embolism, they did a full panel of tests found nothing and told spawn she probably had a panic attack...the best part was they gave her an iv and spawn is terrified of needles and she told DH she passed out when they did the iv....awe poor baby, fake illnesses get poked with needles.

Whether the kid had suspected strep throat, a common cold or a stuffy nose, why would BM's first thought be to race over and escort kid to the hospital ? 

Even if after hours and regular drs is closed, surely a prompt care/ outpatient clinic would be quite capable of diagnosing and prescription if needed. 

I see many sides to this.

First, your SD has a history of lying, and BM has a history of babying. All it would take is for SD to tell Mommy Dearest that she is the sickest she has ever been and Dadddeeee isn't doing anything (read: isn't coddling her) to make her feel better. Gross exaggeration on one end leads to gross exaggeration on the other.

But, your DH isn't exactly parenting his daughter through this, either. If she is sent home with a mask on, either he needs to take her to the doctor or he needs to barricade her in her room to get better. Take away the candy. Take away the phone. Deliver her cold meds, hot tea and soup, and a thermometer every few hours. She can watch television between naps.

SD is never going to learn how to take care of herself when she is sick if the two examples she has are OVER-THE-TOP, OMG EMERGENCY and "oh, she died in her sleep, I thought it was just a sniffle". BOTH parents need to do a better job of meeting in the middle, which they won't do.

Overall, though, not your problem.

Mom is stupid for wanting to run to the ER and dad is stupid for not taking the kid to urgent care.  The girl has had a sore throat for several days.  When he finds out, he give her cold medicine and a cough drop.  

Mom keeps treating him like a incompetent parent, because he keeps behaving like one whenever the kid is sick.

The two of them just acted out this craziness a few months ago when the girl was sick.  Dad dropped the ball with ensuring the kid took her meds and mom wanted to fly in and be the savior.

How is sd doing? I tend to agree, she should go to urgent care. One way to take a look see is to get a flashlight ask sd to open her mouth. LOOK way in the back--is it white patches OR are her tonsils inflamed? IF she has her tonsils that is....also if she still has tonsils are they stuck to her uvula. That long thingie we all have in the back of our throat.

Listen I get it...Mom over reacted. But dad needs to take her to be evaluated. A sore throat for several days could be easy as post nasel drip OR something that requires more.

Hope she is ok.

Crazy does crap like this with us. SS had a sore thumb, so when he goes by her she takes him to urgent care. SS had a sore throat, we give him cold meds, but the second he gets to her house she has him in urgent care. And then the messages come about how terrible my SO is for not taking them. A few weeks ago my SO took SS to the Dr and immediately after SS had a school thing, so they went right there. SS told Crazy he had bronchitis when he saw her at the school thing. She flipped out on my SO about how “SS has bronchitis and you didn’t even tell me!!! I need to know how to give him his meds!!!”. My SO is like, uh, we literally found out an hour ago, and SS just told you, sooo....and the directions for meds are right on the bottle...you read them. She acted like SS had Ebola or something. Everyone gets bronchitis you dumbass!! 

Yesterday skids were with Crazy, and apparently they got rear-ended in the way to school. We first got a text from SS after 5pm to tell us about it! Not a peep from Crazy. Last year she got in an accident with SD9 in the morning (when she wouldn’t let SD go to school because she was “sniffly”), and we didn’t find out about it until that night when SD called. Both times she took skids to the emergency room despite neither kid having any injuries whatsoever (she pulled SS out of school when SD had the accident and made him go to the ER with them cause she’s an f’ng idiot). Today I suggested that my SO message her on the Family Wizard app and ask her to send him a message the next time something like this happens to let him know. Strictly to document that she isn’t telling him about emergency room visits and car accidents. She responded with a huge novel, saying “you got mad at SD for the accident the first time, and you didn’t even ask if she was Ok, she was so sad”, and this time SS “only wanted to text you and not call, because he was so afraid you would be mad”. Freaking idiot! Yes, my SO gets mad at skids when they are in car accidents that are no fault of their own. She just HAS to try and write lies to make him look bad. Then she tells them that he doesn’t care about them. Luckily they don’t believe it, but this woman...I hate her with the heat of a thousand fiery suns.