Shame on DH
I knew that DH bought SD a half dozen roses and a box of candy for Valentine's Day. I am 100% fine with that.
What I didn't find out until this weekend was he showed up to BM's UNANNOUNCED to deliver them! I had made a comment that I was surprised BM answered his call or text allowing him to stop by. He then told me he hadn't called or texted and just rang the doorbell!
I told him that that was very risky, and even though she's been pretty good lately, I'd be PISSED if I found out she showed up at our house unannounced to make some minor holiday treat delivery. I guess she didn't mind very much and SD absolutely adored the gifts, but still, I was pretty shocked that he thought that was ok. Maybe he just wanted to give SD a gift and didn't want to be ignored by BM (which is always a likely option).
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Roses for Valentine’s Day for
Roses for Valentine’s Day for a little girl? Even my exSO who was obsessed wuth his kids wouldn’t do that. Roses? Delivered?
Just hearing BM's name gives
Just hearing BM's name gives me anxiety so yes, I'd be annoyed at her just stopping by.
Ye olde double standard at
Ye olde double standard at work again lmao
There were times that BM
There were times that BM ignored SO totally - he had no access to the girls cause she would block him and half the time, their phones were out of minutes. The only way to get a gift to them would have been to just drop it off unannounced.
I totally understand that and
I totally understand that and I'm sure that was his line of thinking. He said SD was ecstatic so I guess it turned out ok.
I love dogs, I get it. You
I love dogs, I get it. You just don't want to start something if things seem to be going okay with BM. The less contact the better. I sure hope he got you something for valentines day. I thought it was nice to give SD something. It is just that he went to BM's house to give the gift. I wouldn't like that.
It makes it look like flowers
It makes it look like flowers were for BM and candy for SD. That explains him going to BM announced: surprise for both
Um, not that it's a contest
Um, not that it's a contest but I've got you all beat. B4 we were married and I didn't know about it my DH bought SD30 a house. Yup. A whole house, paid cash in full. A year after we married, he went on a biz trip overseas, and took SD. I found out about it 4 years later when her new husband told me he dog sat for her while she was gone. Oh, and that sapphire bracelet he kept in the safe for a gift for a special occasion? Saw it on SD's kitchen counter... That said, I didn't know all this when I sold my premarital house to help buy us a house. . .. Now I'm stuck in a community property state, make more money than he and I would have to pay him alimony! So I stay. Now DH is jealous of SD's new husband, getting all her attention and so on. Laughing my ads off now.
I find the whole concept of
I find the whole concept of fathers or mothers going on 'dates' with their children very strange. Valentines day is for lovers or want to be lovers not kids, not mothers from kids or dad from kids. No wonder kids are growing up entitled and feeling that they have adult status. This is my opinion and other opinions are available but it just makes me want to :sick:
^^^ That. DH gave me a LIST
^^^ That. DH gave me a LIST of s*** he wanted to get the Skids for Valentine's day. I about barfed, told him it was a lover's holiday and while I don't need tons, that's SUPER excessive for the kids. By all means, get them a small gift, but Chocolate, stuffed animals, and toys is ridiculous for such a minor holiday!
I find it disturbing too... No thank you! Unfortunately he still bought them quite a few things... But it was still less...
My parents did have a rule growing up that we had to go on a "daddy daughter date" before we could go on a regular one. That was more just dad taking us out and basically lecturing us on date etiquette and dos and don'ts though. LMAO
Maybe some of the mini wife
Maybe some of the mini wife problems stem from this kind of behaviour? it's a thought.
Right? DH THANKFULLY is
Right? DH THANKFULLY is pretty good. But if you're doing that for the skids, I can see why they'd start thinking other inappropriate behavior is okay.
Chef used to buy SD a potted
Chef used to buy SD a potted plant and elaborate card for VD. Of course it died within a week as she takes care of nothing.
Gifts to a child should not
Gifts to a child should not be on the same level, nor the same as, gifts to a lover.
I give my kids valentine's stuff too. They get a bag of chocolate, a bag of candies, a small stuffie and a sappy family valentine. I don't get them a dozen roses and a box of chocolates.
DH gave me a dozen roses, all pinks and lilacs and peach... but if I'd found out he showed up at BM's with that stuff, I'd question whether he was giving them to a young girl, or to BM.
I wouldn't have a huge issue
I wouldn't have a huge issue with a dad buying his girl a valentine. I would be a bit nervous about the precedent it set for him to go to BM's house unannounced.. because now, if SHE does it... it is a more difficult boundary to enforce.
Thank you, that is my exact
Thank you, that is my exact concern!
When did Valentine's Day
When did Valentine's Day become a gift-giving holiday for kids, anyway? A guy I used to date (USED TO) would get lists from his kids, with ridiculous requests like cell phones, Uggs, North Face jackets, cash, etc. for freaking VALENTINE'S DAY. And guess what? You know what happened- they got whatever their hearts desired. Easter was even worse. I don't get it. And yeah, he'd give his girls what I felt were inappropriate gifts on top of that- a dozen red roses each, a huge box of candy, jewelry. It made me puke in my mouth.
My dad always gave my sisters
My dad always gave my sisters and me roses and chocolate for Valentine's Day. My mom got carnations and/or peonies, but that was because they were her favorite flowers and she didn't care for roses. SO and I gave his two girls (2 and 5) candy and some little gifts for Valentine's Day. Giving them gifts didn't seem out of the ordinary because my dad always spoiled my sisters and me on Feb. 14. I grew up in an intact family, so there were no step issues to consider when he gave us V-day gifts.
I agree with ESMOD, OP. Your DH going to BM's house unannounced definitely removes the fence around that particular boundary. I hope she doesn't start paying you visits!