BM is so pathetic
And probably lonely because her life sucks.
DH and I were sitting on the couch watching GOT and BM texts him: "Thank you. I am sorry for everything in the past. I love you guys and want the best for you both." Text ignored. It sure is easy to apologize in a phoney text message. I'll believe her when DH tells me she apologized for the sh!t show she's caused in person to his freaking face! I have a lot of resentment, if you couldn't tell..
Well isn't she so caring and thoughtful? NOT! I asked DH what prompted that and he just said they had another conversation about their new arrangement earlier today. I didn't ask any further because I am "disengaged". Is BM suddenly changing for the better or is there something more sinister afoot?
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I learned very quickly, well
I learned very quickly, well maybe not so quickly, that HCBM's do not change unless it suits their current situation. They need something from you. In the beginning BM would push FH's buttons until he snapped, then all the sudden she would text me and ask me for help. We have tons of messages from BM where she would apoligize for causing so many problems, for trying to break us up, for how horrible she treated FH during their marriage, etc. She would promise to leave me/us alone. Then at 2 am my phone would ding and it would be BM calling me horrible dirty names. Or she would call FH's phone over and over and over, begging him to tell her he loved her, threatning that if he didn't tell her he loved her he would never see his son again.
Now before someone tells me that we should of blocked her, we did. If any of you have dealt with a narsassist, they don't just stop, something like blocking them becomes a challenge. She blocked her number so she could call, she would use her friends phones, work phones, her own kids phones. She used messenger the same way, and even found my work email address and contacted me through there.
After all the hell she put us through I will never believe that she has changed, ever.
Amen!
"After all the hell she put us through I will never believe that she has changed, ever." Amen, sister!
I really wanted to see the best in her and be "friends", but I never knew a human being could be so despicable. No apology for how she treated me about SD's phone and she never brought it up to DH. He is a great guy and very handsome compared to her baby daddy. I think she realizes now that by cheating on him and ruining their relationship, she not only lost that meal ticket, but sees how great I have it with him.
When BM found out about my
When BM found out about my and FH's relationship, all of the sudden he was the "love of her life" and she was willing to do whatever to "save her family".
Where was all this love when she was having online relationships with numerous other men?
These women are delusional
Our BM was the real deal. Apparently she lied to DH about her hours and would sneak away with her manager to shag in the park and get high.... In the brand new SUV DH bought for her so she had a nice vehicle to transport SD in.
But she was "oh so sorry" and cried and begged for forgiveness when he found out. I bet your BM was at least talking to attractive men? DH said manager man was almost twice BM's age, was balding, fat, and had 3 kids with his wife. If I were a man, I wouldn't touch her with a 10 foot pole!
Apologies, especially by text
Apologies, especially by text, mean nothing. If she's really sorry, she will just stop being a bitch from here on out.
Thank you!
The real test will be when DH takes her to court to get 50/50 filed. Her CS will go down but he's letting her keep the child tax credit.. I'm sure he'll get the call/ text: "I thought we were settling this out of court. Waaahhh poor me."
She could be turning over a
She could be turning over a new leaf, but it may not be because she thinks she is wrong. It could be that SD has really become that difficult that BM will do anything to make life with SD easier. It could be that she thinks SD will eventually ask to live there, and she would rather compromise now than lose entirely in court. It could be that her BF doesn't any SD around, so BM is doing what she can to keep the peace.
I understand wanting to speculate. I have been doing it for a while with BM in my life because she did a 180 when DH and I bought our house. Part of me hopes she has grown up (signs point to "maybe"), but ultimately, I don't care. If it doesn't impact me negatively, then I'm calling it a win.
I suggest taking a similar approach. Your hatred for BM is palpable, and if SD is around more, she'll pick up on it. Even if she is on the outs with BM, she will be more loyal to her than you. Reign in your distain, and put on the happy face of "this is WONDERFUL" until it falls apart. Plus, playing dumb while being cognizant of what is actually g on always throw BMs for a loop when they THINK they are winning but then get smacked down off their crazy pedestal.
You're right..
I need to just worry about myself and be available when I'm needed. I'm working evening shifts so DH will be alone with her 4/7 days.
And how messed up is it that BM doesn't care about SD's relationship with her FATHER until only having her half the time is her solution to making HER life easier?!
Maybe she and her new beau
Maybe she and her new beau are on drugs.. the kind that make you want to just gush positivity out to the world...lol?
I think she is trying on the cloak of "rational and cooperative divorced person". You know.. the ones you see on twitter posts about how they take pictures with their EX and kids every year.. because.. darn it.. it IS all about the kiddos right? Or the ones that say that their EX's new wife is their best friend and PARTNER in raising their child.
She is probably putting on this act to try to show her new BF what a reasonable and wonderfully selfless woman she is. It's something close to a MOTY act.
I would be very neutral in response. Civil but I wouldn't drink the Kook-Aid.. she is likely going to tire of this and go back to her old ways before too long.
It's definitely exhausting for her
I've always says she's good at wearing 2 faces. And that is the truth. I would love to know how bad her relationship with her baby daddy has gotten for it to come to this. Everyone has known for years that DH needs to be a bigger influence in SD's life so is she really so dense it took SEVEN YEARS for her to realize it??
In our situation, BioHo is
In our situation, BioHo is only nice when she wants something. As for 'Ho apologizing? Hahahahahahahahahahahaaaaa!!! Why would someone who is perfect ever have to apologize?!
Yes!
I will never get an apology from the witch, nor do I want one. She really was raised to think she's perfect and that's why she has issues with SD.
It was cute at age 5 when SD was entitled and had the "me, me, me" attitude. Now as a preteen with a bad attitude? Not so much.
BioHo has never spoken a word
BioHo has never spoken a word to me, so I'm not due any apology from her.
The SDs, on the other hand... But since they are mini-BioHo's, I imagine they will never believe they need to apologize for anything because they are also perfect.
I'm jealous
If I could go back in time, I'd have never met her. She is so fake it's overwhelming and the thought of seeing her literally makes my stomach turn and I get this anxious/ nervous feeling. She is definitely bad for my health.
I hope that your SDs become SMs one day! And I hope that you will tell us about it! At least SS is decent, yes?
Be careful
she may have alterior motives! She may want him to think she changed to get him back. It’s sad but true...
I was thinking that..
She is a "grass is greener" person for sure. I know she regrets leaving him because he is a good dad and better parent than her. Her shortcomings have been pointed out since they separated and her BPD has shown itself many times.
I am also loved by all of her family that knows me and she lost almost all of her friends after she cheated.