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Help! please

hopeful_sm's picture

I'm so desperate i think i'm about to make an impulsive decision to buy a dog. I've wanted a dog ever since I gave my dogs up for adoption when I was divorced 4 years ago. I just haven't been able to do to school work, and simply not having enough time.
My SS14 wants a dog and cat...he wants wants wants. I'm afraid that if I buy a pet it might get treated bad when I'm not around. My SS is so determined to push my buttons that he does what he can to try and get his bioDad to be against me. He doesn't care about what I say unless it's beneficial to him in some way.
I have so much on my plate with work and school...now all this drama with my SS is making me sick. I constantly have knots in my stomach and I feel like I'm getting depressed. This is not like me. If you knew me you would know that I am a happy person who always smiles. I feel that this childs messed up life is bringing me down.
I want a pet to distract me and entertain me...what do you think?

Comments

Kb3Hooah's picture

First ask yourself if in the back of your mind, could you be wanting a Dog to somehow try to win over some affection from SS? Next, if you are already saying you have so much on your plate with work and school, when will you have time for a dog? What about the cost also? Dog food, Vet bills, Groomers, etc. Plus, if you get a puppy you'll have to spend the time to train him/her, and a dog for that matter isn't guaranteed to already be trained, so you may be training either way. Are you ready for pee and poop on your floors? Are you ready to ask SS to help take care of the dog, with only hearing him say even more that you are not his father he doesn't have to listen to you. What about the dog scratching up the back door of your house when he wants in or out, Digging holes in the backyard, etc.

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“Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.”

hopeful_sm's picture

Beleive me...I've taken all of that into consideration. I hope that a dog will bring some joy to my house, but mostly for me! I need a dog. I think that having to take care of the dog will mean that I don't pay attention to my SS who's 14 and acts like he's 5! I seriously think that I'm getting depressed. I'm really upset.

Stand up strait, take a deep breath, exhale and smile

bearcub25's picture

DON'T FORGET THE 'GETTING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO LET IT OUT.'
OMG, I wish I hadn't got a dog. It has been the equivalent of having another baby.
And the skids undo any type of training I have done with him. Finally got the 90lb monster to not jump on ppl and SS15 teases him to jump, so dog scratched the hell out of my belly last nite when I got home. Skid didn't get yelled at, the dog did b/c it is allowed by the skids.

Cats are OK for low to no maintenance. Mine are outside all night, come in and eat and sleep all day. And kills the vermin.

hopeful_sm's picture

That is what I am afraid of. I'm afraid that the SS will take the dog and drive it crazy then I'll have two crazies in my house. I tell you...I just can't win!

Stand up strait, take a deep breath, exhale and smile

bearcub25's picture

SS9 who has behavioral issues anyway, does this high pitched screech and it drives the dog nuts, he has to go see if anything is wrong with the kid.
I had to take the dog and leave one day b/c he wouldn't eat and was panting so heavily I thought he would have a heart attack.
BF thinks its cool the dog protects his babies....gag.

hopeful_sm's picture

ugh...I can only imagine...SS14 is very sneaky and is always up to no good. I can see him going against everything I teach the dog.

Stand up strait, take a deep breath, exhale and smile

bearcub25's picture

Hey, you got my SS....thats OK you can keep him for awhile.,

What is it with boys and the age of 14...my BS, SS.

hopeful_sm's picture

I'm 29 and do not have any children of my own...one day I fell inlove and with that came a child who's mother doesn't want him...My heart broke and because I love children I embraced it. 4 years later...I'm still trying to embrace! He won't let me in!
I won't lie and say that it's like this all of the time...it's definitely like this most of the time. Like I said he's nice when it's convenient for him.

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Stand up strait, take a deep breath, exhale and smile

Jbee27's picture

Get a fish or gerbil to start out with. We have a cat, and I really want a dog. But our yard isn't fenced in and I'm barely home enough to take care of myself. And I can't count on the boys (FH and SS8) to take care of the cat. (They do, but not regularly like i do).
Start off small.

hopeful_sm's picture

We had a fish and he could care less about it. He did nothing for it. It was mostly for my FH and he eventually got sick of it and it ended up getting flushed one day. I'm not a gerbil kind of person. I've always had dogs and cats, I would get a cat but two of my siblings are very allergic and then they won't visit...believe me I need my family to come visit more than you think...I need all the support I can get.

Stand up strait, take a deep breath, exhale and smile

Pantera's picture

I got a puppy at the end of May. Ive wanted a puppy since we bought our house a year ago, I just didn't think the time was right and there were issues in our house. Anyway, he is my baby!!! My DH and I were going through a rough time and I think he is the reason I got through it. He was the only reason I wanted to come home at night. Yes, the vet bills, potty training, holes in the yard, ect. are a pain, but well worth it. And, my ss9, who has behavorial issues is actually good with the puppy. I think the dog has actually made a difference in the house all together.

hopeful_sm's picture

Thank you for your positive advise! I'm still up in the air about it...I tried talking to my SS14 about having a dog and he is just rotton...I don't know what to do. Last night was a very rough night in my home. I was up late and I wanted to cry but couldn't...I just don't know what to do.
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Stand up strait, take a deep breath, exhale and smile