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Ready to call it quits....

Hogger's picture

Submitted by Hogger on Fri, 02/25/2011 - 10:43am

The BM might get her wish, I am ready to walk away from SS and BF! BM writes this long email saying how SS hates me and then tells stories of stuff that has happened at our house that SS has told her, with complete exaggeration of course! Apparently SS is going back to BM's after our time with him and tells her all sorts of stuff that happened...never the good things of course and BM twists around what she hears and puts a negative spin on everything! I am so sick of it! Almost 4 years of dealing with her and her BS!!!! SS tells her that I treat him badly when his Dad isn't around, completely not true!!! She has him so conviced that I am evil and out to hurt everyone, I'm the one who cares about how he's doing in school, about his weight issues, etc! I'm the one who keeps the roof over our heads, food in our bellys, clothes on our backs, a summer cottage to go to (thast SS loves!). ARGH!!!!!!!!!!

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justanothergurlNJ's picture

Submitted by justanothergurlNJ on Fri, 02/25/2011 - 10:48am

I don't have the issues you have, but I'm ready to just walk away and say Fuck it!!! I'm coming down with a bad case of the Fuck it's!!!!

The way I feel now let BM win, she don't want him but doesn't want anyone else to have him. Let her be some other girls nightmare! Really what does she win! He will NEVER go back, she doesn't want him back she just wants him to be as miserable as she is. So hey GO NUTS!!!

Hogger's picture

Submitted by Hogger on Fri, 02/25/2011 - 10:49am

He tries to deal with it as best he can, problem is if he talks to SS he then goes bakc to the BM and it jsut starts all over again. Plus if my BF defends me to SS then I look the the bad guy once again. It's a no win situation for either of us.

Hogger's picture

Submitted by Hogger on Fri, 02/25/2011 - 11:04am

Dad knows I treat his son well, he knows I care about him and he does try to protect me from a lot of BM's crap. I am hardly ever left alone with him, once every few months if Dad has to work on a saturday morning until noon or so. This happened a couple of weeks ago and nothing bad happened at all, we got along great, I thought!
You are so right about SS wanting to please his mom....and all she wants to hear is the bad stuff, of which there isn't any by the way! I joked around about getting SS hair cut and apparently he went back to BM and told her he was pissed off with me for that!

Hogger's picture

Submitted by Hogger on Fri, 02/25/2011 - 11:08am

You are right! And I am going to start today with disengaging. It won't be easy as I have an 8 year old who loves her "brother" and she will see and feel the difference in me.

aug2010's picture

Submitted by aug2010 on Fri, 02/25/2011 - 11:10am

SS is put in a situation where he loves both parents very much but feels that he needs to please both in any way possible. In my case SS told me he really wanted to go to DH's and my wedding but when BM would ask "you can go to your dad's wedding but it will break my heart" what do you do? I am sad SS didn't go to the wedding but I don't blame him, being put into a situation like that where an adult makes him make choices that he doesn't fully understand. More than likely also, BM either A) wants bf back or Dirol isn't happy so she doesn't want your bf to be happy either.

indymomma's picture

Submitted by indymomma on Fri, 02/25/2011 - 11:47am

You are not alone. And I'm findng comfort in the fact that I'm not alone as well.

I'm dealing with the same thing with SD11. I've spent the last 9+ years with her. We've been very close this entire time. So close her BM has made many comments. Now I'm suddenly evil. Her entire outlook on me and our relationship changed 2 months ago. I don't know why. I don't think she does either. She just turns purple and tears up when we try to talk to her about it.

I am in no way excusing SD's behavior, but I am trying to take the outlook that a lot of this comes with the age. Every fiber of my being was ready to walk away from her and her father and her mother (because like it or not you're stuck with her as well), but I then thought of all the moms that have had to endure similar treatment from their bio-kids. If I wouldn't walk away from my bio-kids for similar behavior, then why would I walk away from her? So I'm sticking it out and embrasing the evil stepmom title! Only time will tell if I'm doing the right thing.