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hismineandours's picture

The doorbell rings at 7pm. There stands a mom, and two of dd's classmates. The mom says, "are you ss's mom". I believe I must have had a horrified look on my face and I was like, "uh, no". She then proceeds to tell me that he has been threatening her son Whoi is autistic and is probably the size of a 3rd grader. I am familiar with the family as my dd has had the sister over. I tell her ss hasn't lived here for awhile due to our ownprobs with him and tell her to come in and let me get dh. Dh didn't even want to come upstairs but did. Basically just told her we have minimal contact with ss. She said she was going to contact the principal in the morning and that her son was afraid to come over here and is afraid to go to school.

After she leaves I facebook her and just apologize for ss's actions asi felt she might feel like we were passing the buck and just didn't care. She messages me back and said that ss was texting her dd now- talking crap, but also playing victim about how he's always been picked on so now he picks on others first. This really made me sick as he just continues to justify and excuse his own bad behaviors. Ss has been bullying others since he was a toddler. seriously. ive had complaints from every sitter weve ever had, numerous disciplinary actions all thru elementary, middle, and now high school and of course what ive seen with my own eyes. butbto him he is just some poor pitiful victim. talk about rewriting history. This poor kid is not a troublemaker or aggressive and in fact dh's only comment to me was, "I can't believe he'd even pick on that kid"-as this kid really is just that pitiful.

Comments

hismineandours's picture

I didn't even bother as she likely would not even respond to a phone call pr text. She would ignore it. If the mom somehow cornered her then I truly have no doubt that she would just not care. I don't think she'd be apologetic, in fact I think she might be rude and nasty so I didn't want to encourage the mom to call her. She would also make excuses for ss- which would simply reinforce ss bs.

stepmonster_2011's picture

I wish I had an answer for ya. We ran into the victim/poor-me/martyr thing with my SS17 ALL.THE.TIME.

In fact, he is still pulling that crap - even at his residential treatment facility. I think it is part of his abandonment/attachment issues with his mommy. He's learned over time that he gets MORE attention when he is the victim. He loves the Pity Train. Not happy unless he's got something to be bitching about.

I sure hope that Mom can get the Principal to do something. Maybe if the police are brought in, your SS can get his "headassectomy"...

Or maybe he can go to an alternative school - you know - like juvie.

oldone's picture

dup

LONGTIME SM's picture

You know HMO I'm wondering if your husband still has custody of his ss or if he transferred it to his mother when she agreed to take him back. If your husband has custody still and ss continues picking on those so defenseless he could end up hurting someone and your h could be found liable. Please make sure you guys are protected and that may mean you'll have to emancipate him as soon as possible if grandma wont assume custody My thoughts are with you.

LONGTIME SM's picture

Dup