I just read this book and I wish I would have read it much sooner. I have read Stepmonster, Ex-Wives Ex-Lives and this...and I have to tell you that each talks to me. However, this book I believe gives you something you can actually do to make things better...and it's NOT what you think. It's not to be super nice and put the kids first, etc...I believe it gives a great balance to get you to a comfortable if not happy position. I highly recommend it.

The Happy Stepmother: Stay Sane, Empower Yourself, Thrive in Your New Family

By the way, I am also reading When Your Parent Remarries Late In Life: Making Peace With Your Adult Stepfamily and although it doesn't apply to most of us, there are many issues that will come up and it is very helpful to see someone else's point of view with adult skids. Funny thing is, I only found a review written by an adult skid, which of course, they did not really find the book "helpful" but that's only because it basically says "hey, get over it...not your life...you can chose to be a part of them or not...their money is really NONE of your business..." It also explains why SMOMS have a much harder time than SDADS...and of course, it is directly related to money...no doubt. I highly recommend it for those of you with adult skids, maybe you can read with your DHs, etc. so that they can see your point of view and other's as well.