I want to let everyone here know about the Emtional Incest book that someone here recommended to me. I have to say that it has been a lifesaver. Although DH has not read it, I have read it and have discussed some of the things with him. One of the key issues we have had with his crazy family, ex, daughter, etc...was the fact that they constantly stepped over our boundaries. They were always trying to tell us what to do with ourselves, our son, his daughter, his mother, etc...they drove us nuts. We had so many issues because of it. My husband had his priorities for years all screwed up. Anything that made mention of something he was doing or his crazy mother was doing, etc. I would sit and talk to him about it. Not in the sense of "hey, let's talk about this", but more while we were outside talking or having a drink I would say "I just read about this...wow, it really sounded like something your mom did to you...or something you do, etc..." Sometimes I could tell he was a bit ticked, but after a few days he seemed to be getting it.

After almost 3 years of not seeing his mother, because of all the crap she has done to us, we finally went to see the witch. I told my DH very clearly about the boundaries that I had read in the book. I told him that he needed to discuss those things with her before we went or I would definitely stand up to his mother or anyone else who started stepping over MY boundaries from now on. He reluctantly claims he discussed with his mother. Well, we went to visit her and sure enough...after a few minutes there she starts asking about "our homeschooling"...I was in shock that the witch would start up again with that...within seconds my husband said to her "yes, we homeschooling and we will continue to do it. That is not a topic that we will discuss again." :jawdrop: Although, really, he should have said "that's not something we will discuss" only, I am glad that he got it and and least attempted to stop her. From that moment on his mother didn't dare try to question us on anything else like she used to. It ended up being a 1/2 way pleasant visit, but she didn't cross any other boundaries after that.

I highly suggest to all of you with lots of issues with steps, in-laws, etc. to read that book...I think it will really help you. Also, it helped me and made me much more confident to know that I was NOT being unreasonable and gave me a bit of comfort to have some great comebacks in case they crossed those boundaries they just love to trample on.

Good luck to you all.