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My involvement in father's day matters now?

Helena.Handbasket's picture

Well, at 8:30pm, SO gets a call from SD16. She wants to come over, its father's day tomorrow. BM wants to meet tonight not tomorrow. Really? You guys wait until NOW to call? BTW, SS13 has been here all week. Things seem to go smoothly when its us three.

SO gets aggravated by the request, but says fine. What does he do? He gets up and starts cleaning the house. I picked up my own stuff because I don't want it touched. He then cleans her room. Makes mention that she asked him to wash her blankets and he still needed to do it. I said "well can she do that when she's here this week?" He just says "yeah" to shut me up. What he ended up doing was making her bed, putting the blankets all back on and sweeping and dusting her room. I wonder if he'll actually lie and say he washed her precious blankets?

He starts complaining about how nasty her room is and she needs to... well she's not here enough. Yeah she's not here enough to clean and dust her room. All I can think is then she's not here enough for a room. If you get it, you should clean it at 16. Whatever.

He made mention of father's day tomorrow. I asked what he wanted to do. We were planning to just see a movie in the morning and work on the baby's room. I guess since SD hasn't been here in two-three weeks he'll change all that. I just said, well the kids can just do their thing with you on father's day and I will work on the baby's room. -- I'd so rather just work on my baby's room. SO "no I want you to be a part of father's day too"

Really??? Cause last year you were all too fine with going off without asking me to join you and the kids on a fishing trip. NOW you want me involved?

I just said well you haven't seen SD in a couple weeks and you guys will probably do a lot of catching up. We'll see.

Blegh, I hope she gets bored here and wants to go back to BMs soon and she's not even here yet.

Comments

twopines's picture

>>> I want you to be a part of father's day too<<<

What on earth does this mean? Be part of...what exactly? Do the kids have some super duper festivities planned that he's been made aware of?

And yes, if she's not there enough to spend 20 minutes running a dust cloth and vacuum through her space, she certainly doesn't need an entire room to herself. But, well, we all know how that goes.

angeline's picture

I totally agree. If I had a 16-year-old SD with her own room in my house which in one way or another DH and I are paying for, you'd better believe she'd be maintaining it. I'm not a neat freak in any way, but to me that's basic respect and responsibility suitable for a person of her age.

I'm confused about your DH's meaning behind "I want you to be a part of Father's Day too". It almost sounds sweet and a step towards greater unity between you two (I don't know your situation, so forgive me if my thoughts are totally out there). Maybe he realized that he made a mistake last year by not involving you in the fishing trip?

Helena.Handbasket's picture

Maybe, and maybe I'm just so bitter now that I don't see it. Its just frustrating to have a history of being disregarded and when I am now ok with not being involved, suddenly I NEED to be involved.

Helena.Handbasket's picture

"I would assume he's realized SD is a stresser and you are one who makes him happy."

That sounds nice. I think though he's always just concerned about making her happy, he just gets tired of it and worn out by it. She's high maintenance.

Kes's picture

DH stands over the SDs on the last eve of the SKIDSs weekend while they clear up their room in our house - takes about 20 minutes. I quite agree if SD16 has a room in your house she should keep it nice - but I zip my lip about this kind of thing like you tend to. Why can't she wash her own damn blankets? Humph.

Regarding the Father's Day - it is also FD here in the UK, and I very much doubt the SDs are doing anything or have got DH a card. They didn't get NPD BM one on Mothers Day. It is a little strange how your presence is suddenly required when it wasn't last year. I would just carry on with your own plans until a concrete plan emerges from DH and the SKIDs.

Helena.Handbasket's picture

Yes Kes, that is nice your DH does that. SO will tell SD to clean her room then she doesn't do it and leaves to go back to BMs. Then he complains she doesn't clean her room, yet goes in and does it for her.

I just did the "wing it" thing. I knew I would just walk away if she started her nonsense. I enjoyed the dinner out and the movie. Then when we got home he and I had a nice time cooking together. I enjoy that.