Bonding with FSD
We had the kids for the 2nd weekend in a row. FDH took them fishing on Saturday while I was volunteering. I guess the kids thought I was going fishing too and FSD was disappointed that I wasn't there. She asked FDH if I would come next time. I happened to overhear this when FDH was trying to put her to bed that night. I usually leave them alone when he puts her to bed, but that night I chose to go in with them.
We had a lot of fun. FSD is significantly more comfortable around me now. She cuddles up to me on the couch and excitedly tells me about her day or jokes she likes to come up with. She always asks to help me around the house (FSS does too, if SpongeBob isn't on). She also seems to get mad at me sometimes, but in the way that you're mad at a parent. She listens to me, though FDH is still the dominant authority figure (and he backs me up, which has really made a difference).
This Saturday night though felt like a breakthrough moment. We were all sitting on her bed making fun of our feet (FSD is slightly flat-footed, and she's usually insecure about it). It just felt like a family moment, and it didn't feel awkward or forced. I still don't kiss her goodnight or anything, and I don't tell the kids "I love you." Slowly, though, I feel like we're making progress. 
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Comments
It is good to hear. fSd11 and
It is good to hear. fSd11 and fss14 and I have a great relationship. Truthfully from the outside if you saw us out together you would think they were my kids.
We are blessed, to have a good relationship, but deep down I know the difference. I have my own bio daughter the relationship is night and day.
But truthfully how much depth can you have after 2 1/2 years. I believe it take 5-7 years to build a bond in a step family, so I don't sweat it. I don't expect to feel for them what I do my bio.
How can I?
I am honest. SO and I have had many discussion about his kids and I tell him, on Sunday night when they go back to crazo's you miss them. I don't. I'm glad they are gone. Not because they are bad or difficult. I just like having you to myself and having the house quiet again. That doesn't make me bad, it makes me honest. I love them but not like SO. He loves my daughter but not like his kids.
I am so happy for you .....you are building and bonding. It does make it so much easier when the kids and you have a bond. The day to day life with them is easier.
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